Twitter Status Messages

1,000 people get swine flu and everyone wants to wear a mask. 28,000,000 get AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom.

1% Battery left. Me: Challenge accepted!

10% of conflict is due to difference of opinion. 90% is due to the wrong tone of voice!

10 Ways to Love: listen, speak, give, pray, answer, share, enjoy, trust, forgive, promise.

10 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Facebook… When I was 10, I felt cool with my new markers.

11 year olds today: Omg I luv smokin pot. I get lyke so drunk. Yolo! Me when I was 11: I can’t wait to go home and play Club Penguin!

12/22/2012: Teacher: Where’s your homework? You: Ummm… Yeah… I thought I was gonna die yesterday.

24 minutes of battery left. Me: That’s enough time to finish. 6 minutes later, laptop shuts down. Bloody liar!

3am text message. Hey are you asleep? – No I am scuba diving, what the hell do you want?

8 planets. 204 countries. 807 island. 7 seas. 6,000,000,000+ people. and I am still SINGLE.

87% of women like men in pink T-Shirt. But ironically, 91% of men in pink T-Shirt don’t like women.

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

A beautiful mind is a terrible thing to waste !

A beautiful soul is more precious than a beautiful face.

A best friend isn’t someone who’s just always there for you. It’s someone who understands you a bit more than you understand yourself.

A blonde girl asked me, What does idk stand for? I replied, I don’t know. She replied, Oh my God, nobody does!

A bug landed on my computer screen, and my first reaction was to scare it away with the mouse curser.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A stupid person makes it.

A cop pulled me over and said Papers So I said, Scissors. I win. … and drove off.

A day without you is like a year without wifi.

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

A friendship founded on business is a good deal better than a business founded on friendship.

A frown is just a broken smile that a good friend can fix.

A girl can be your best friend, wife, worst enemy, or worst nightmare. It just depends on how you treat her.

A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her!

A girl is much more than she seems. She is not a toy. Underneath that make up and hair. There’s a sign that says, ‘handle with care’.

A girl needs a man with real intentions not a boy who can’t pay attention.

A girl, no matter how much she denies it, will always remember every detail, every moment, every piece of memory you’ve left her.

A good day starts with a positive attitude and a great cup of coffee.

A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are for what you have.

A goodbye is never painful unless you’re going to say hello again.

A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences.

A great relationship isn’t when perfect couple comes together, but imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

A guy broke into my house and all he took was my TV remote. Now he always drives by and changes the channels. Sick loser!

A guy can make you think he loves you, but he really doesn’t. A girl can make you think she doesn’t love you, when she really does.

A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn’t get jealous when someone has your attention, it’s because someone has hers.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

A lie can’t be covered by another lie. As it stacks up one after another, things just get more and more complicated.

A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.

A man truly loves you when missing you is his hobby, caring for you is his job, making you happy is his duty, and loving you is his life.

A memory is what is left when something happens and doesn’t completely unhappen.

A memory lasts forever, never does it die. True friends stay together and never say goodbye.

A million feelings, a thousand thoughts, a hundred memories, everything because of one person you love.

A positive attitude can make a normal day to a great day. Remember: losers let things happen while winners make things happen.

A real boyfriend knows his girl like the back of his hand. he knows when she’s mad, sad, aggravated, happy, hurt, because that’s his girl.

A real friend is that one person you can still be completely silly with, no matter how serious life gets.

A real person is not perfect, and a perfect person is not real.

A real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won’t let her.

A recent study shows that 90% of women don’t like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don’t like women.

A rejected high five is one of the biggest insults there is.

A relationship built on secrets and lies is bound to fail.

A relationship is meant for two, but some people just don’t know how to count.

A relationship is more than finding the right person, it’s also about BEING the right person.

A relationship is more than finding the right person, it’s also about BEING the right person.

A relationship is not based on the length of time you spent together, it’s based on the foundation you built together.

A relationship means giving the best of yourself to someone who truly deserves it.

A relationship with God is the most important relationship you can have. Trust him and everything will always turn out fine.

A relationship with no trust is like having a phone with no service, you just play games.

A scar just means that you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.

A silent hug means a thousand words to the unhappy heart.

A smart girl knows HOW to love. A smarter girl knows WHO to love.

A smile is a choice, not a miracle. Don’t wait for people to smile. Show them how. A genuine smile makes you and everyone around you feel better.

A strong woman is one who is able to smile this morning like she wasn’t crying last night.

A teenage girl died months ago. While on Facebook I saw that her boyfriend still has her listed as his girlfriend. True love never dies!

A theif broke into my house last night. He was searching for money…. So I woke up and started searching with him.

A true friend cares like a mom, scolds like a dad, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother and loves more than a lover.

A true friend is someone who can tell you things you cannot tell yourself.

A true friend is someone who doesn’t get tired of your pointless drama over and over again.

A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself. Real love is letting a person be who they really are.

A true friend will always speak the truth, even if it hurts.

A true relationship is when you can tell each other about anything and everything. No secrets, no lies and no excuses.

A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.

A woman’s beautiful face attracts a flirter, a woman’s beautiful heart attracts a lover, a woman’s beautiful character attracts a man.

A word is a word till you mean what you say. Love isn’t love till you give it away.

Absence is the best presence, because If people are absent then you miss them and if you miss them that means they are present in your heart.