Funny Santa Banta Jokes

Hilarious Santa Banta Jokes on SMS. You can’t resist sharing these with your friends. LOL!

1 Santa Bathroom Mein

1 Santa Bathroom Mein Baitha Tha. Saamne Likha Tha Paani Ka Zyada Se Zyada Istemaal Karein. Wo Baithe Baithe 3 Lote Paani Pi Gaya.

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3 log train ke

3 log train ke peeche bhaag raha tha. Ek chadh gaya.Train mein logon ne kaha well done. Santa: kya well done? Jaana to unhen tha main to chorne aaya tha.

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35 Sal Ki Lady

35 Sal Ki Lady Balcony Se Neeche Kachre Ke Dibbe Mein Giri. Ya Dekh Ke Santa Ne Kaha Husband Zyada Hi Shaukeen Lagta Hai Warna Abhi 5-10 Saal Aur Chal Sakti Thi

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A Man Asks Santa

A Man Asks Santa: Main Company Ke MD Ko English Mein Kaise Puchu Ke Kal Leave Hai Ya Nahi? Banta Replies: Tommorow Is A Holiday True Or False?

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A Santa Asked His

A Santa Asked His Friend: Kya Tumhare Underwear Mein Suraakh Hai? Friend Replied:No. Santa Said: To Phir Taangain Kahan Se Daalta Hai Saale?

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A Santa Was Getting

A Santa Was Getting Bitten By Mosquitoes All Through The Night. He Got Irritated And Drank Poison And Said: Ab Kaato Saalo Tum Bhi Maroge.

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A Tiger Killed Santa

A Tiger Killed Santa In The Zoo. A Man Asked Why Did you Kill Santa? Tiger: Aur Nai To Kya, Sala Kab Se Keh Raha Tha Itni Badi Billi Woooeeen Itni Badi Billi

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After an accident a

After an accident, a very angry driver: I showed you the headlights and told you to go on side. Santa: I also started the wipers and said no, no..no no.

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After finishing MBBS Santa

After finishing MBBS Santa starts his practise. He checked his first patient’s eyes, tongue and ears by torch and finally he said, battery is ok.

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After returning back from

After returning back from a foreign trip, Santa asked his wife: Do I look like a foreigner? Wife: No, why? Santa: In London a lady asked if I was a foreigner?

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Airhostess Sir kya loge

Airhostess: Sir kya loge? Santa: Kheer, bread pakora and tandoori chicken with naan. Airhostess: Sir tussi jahaaz te aaye ho, apne pyo de vyaah te nai.

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Airport par ek aadmi

Airport par, ek aadmi bola- humaara sehzaada aa raha hai, Dusra bola- Humaara nvaabzaada aa raha hai, Banta- hamaara bhi haraamzada aa raha hai.

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American In America marriage

American: In America, marriage even takes place by email. Santa: In India, it happens only with female.

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Amitabh ab aakhri sawal

Amitabh: ab aakhri sawal ek crore ka..what is your father’s name? Santa: hasne laga.. Amitabh : hass kyun rahe ho? Santa : option to de..

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An astronomer was watching

An astronomer was watching the sky from a telescope and Santa looked on. Suddenly a star fell; Santa shouted: Wah kya nishana lagaya hai!

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An astronomer was watching

An astronomer was watching the sky from a telescope and Santa was watching him. Suddenly a star falls, Santa shouted: Wah kya nishana lagaya hai.

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An Astronomer Was Watching

An Astronomer Was Watching Sky From His Telescope. Santa Singh Was Observing Him. Suddenly A Star Falls. Seeing That Santa Singh Shouts:Kya Nishana Lagaya Hai

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An englishman and Santa

An englishman and Santa inside the toilet. Englishman: good evening, how do you do? Santa: good evening, we open the zip and do.

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Anger makes you smaller

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

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Anniversary par Santa apni

Anniversary par Santa apni biwi ke liye gulaab ka phool le kar aaya. Biwi: mujhe ye nahi chahiye, koi soney ki cheez do. Santa: ye lo takiya aur so jaao.

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Announcement ho raha tha

Announcement ho raha tha 1 baccha mila hai jinka hai aa kar le jaaye, Santa aaya aur kehne laga mujhe bhi dikha jin ka baccha kaisa hota hai.

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Apple wala 100 Rs

Apple wala: 100 Rs ke 10 apple le lo. Santa: kuch kam karo yaar. Apple wala: aap jaan pehchan wale ho, isliye aapko 70 ke 7 de dunga. Santa: thanks.

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ATM Santa was drawing

ATM Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta who was just behind him in the line said: I have seen your password. Its 1334. Santa: You are wrong. Its 1394.

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Bacche ki report lene

Bacche ki report lene Santa hospital gaya, report bahut kharab thi. Santa bacche se bola: oye school te school tenu ethey v meri izzat da koi khyaal nai.

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Bank manager to Santa

Bank manager to Santa: What is cyclone? Santa smiled and Proudly answered: Cyclone is a small loan given by a bank to purchase a cycle.

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Banta aaj maine paani

Banta: aaj maine paani ko dhoka de diya. Dost: wo kaise? Banta: main ne nahaane ke liye paani garam kiya, par maine thande paani se naha liya.

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Banta aapko air hostess

Banta: aapko air hostess ne thappad kyun mara? Santa: maine puccha ki susu karne ki jagah kaha hai, wo boli piche maine kaha pehle to aage hua karti thi.

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Banta Agar hukumat mere

Banta: Agar hukumat mere haath mein ho to main mulk ki taqdeer badal doon. Wife: Tum pehle shalwaar to badal lo, subah se meri pahan ke ghoom rahe ho.

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Banta agar operation mein

Banta: agar operation mein meri maut ho toh opration karne waale doctor se shaadi kar lena. Biwi: aise kyun keh rahe ho? Banta: To kya doctor ko maaf kar doon.

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Banta amrood bech raha

Banta amrood bech raha tha. Ek aadmi aaya or bola, Banta ji agar amrood mein kida nikla to? Banta: To saaf baat hai mein kidey ke alag paise lunga.

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Banta asked Santa Why

Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM

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Banta asks santa what

Banta asks santa: what will you advise your children about marriage? Santa declares: I will never marry in my life and I will give same advice to my children also.

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Banta Bhaisahab mujhe dilli

Banta: Bhaisahab, mujhe dilli jaana hai, kya yeh train meri hai? Station Master: Tum kahin bhi jao, yeh train tumhari nahi Indian Railways ki hai.

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Banta building se gira

Banta building se gira. Doctor said: he is dead. Banta suddenly woke up and said main zinda hoon. Banta’s wife: tu pada reh, doctor ko jyaada pata hai.

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Banta calls wife main

Banta calls wife: main ghar nahi aa sakta, car ka steering, gear chori ho gaya. After sometime he calls again: aa raha hu, pehle pichali seat pe baith gaya tha.

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Banta college ki ladki

Banta college ki ladki se: I love you. Ab tum mujhe bolo. Girl: main abhi jaa ke sir ko bolti hun. Banta : paagal sir ko mat bol unki shaadi ho gayi hai.

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Banta cricket khel kar

Banta cricket khel kar aaya. Dost: kitne runs banaaye? Banta: triple century hone mein 299 run baqi the, kanjar ne out kar diya.

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Banta Do you know

Banta: Do you know similarity between Dinosaurs and Intelligent Girls? Santa: What? Banta: Both don’t exist.

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Banta doctor ji aapko

Banta: doctor ji aapko taanke lagane aate hai. Doctor: haan aate hai kahan lagane hai. Banta: ye lo chappal pe laga do.

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Banta filling job application

Banta filling job application. He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Address etc. Then came the column salary expected. After much thought he writes: Yes

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Banta For blood test

Banta: For blood test they cut my finger. It hurt! Santa starts howling. Why? Santa had come for a urine test.

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Banta got into a

Banta got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10 and took the ticket and said april fool. I have pass..

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Banta got job in

Banta got job in Airtel call centre. Customer: Airtel sim blocked, what to do? Banta: do not take tension, remove airtel and put BSNL sim. Thank you for calling

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Banta had a crow

Banta had a crow, that was very soft. Banta named him Microsoft. (My crow soft)

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Banta Hum To Udti

Banta: Hum To Udti Chidiya Ke Bhi Par Gin Lete Hai Santa: Is Mein Mushkil Hi Kya Hai, Do Hi Toh Hote Hain Na?

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Banta I got an

Banta: I got an anonymous letter.
Santa: From whom ?

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Banta I really like

Banta: I really like you. Girl: meri chappal ka size pata hai na ? Banta: lo kar lo gal, friendship hui nai, farmaishan shuru.

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Banta I went for

Banta: I went for a blood test and they cut my finger. It hurt! Santa starts howling. Banta: What happened? Santa: I have come for a urine test!

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Banta If I Die

Banta: If I Die What will You Do? Santa: I May Also Die. Banta: Why? Santa: Some Time Too Much Of Happiness Can Also Kill A Man.

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Banta in coffee shop

Banta in coffee shop with wife: jaldi pi, thandi ho jaayegi. Wife: phir kya hua ji. Banta: inke menu mein me likha hai hot coffee-15 Rs. and cold coffee-45 Rs.

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Banta Ji as a

Banta Ji as a director: you should jump to the swimming pool from 100 ft height. Hero: I do not know swimming. Banta Ji: Oye do not worry Yaar. Pool is empty.

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Banta joins army given

Banta joins army, given AK 47. He is puzzled and asks Major: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta? Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga.

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Banta Kal mere papa

Banta: Kal mere papa kunwain mein gir gaye aur zor zor se cheekhne lage, Bachao Bachao. Santa:Ab kaise hai? Banta:Theek hi honge, kal se koi awaaz to nahi aayi.

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Banta ke bete ki

Banta ke bete ki roti par se chuha guzar gaya. Son to Banta: Ab mujhe roti nahi khaani. Banta: kha le puttar, chuhe ne kahan joote pahne hue the.

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Banta ki biwi zor

Banta ki biwi zor se chillaai aur boli: Jaldi bathroom se bahar niklo tufaan aaya hai. Banta: Tum usko bithao hum aate hai.

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Banta kisi ladki ke

Banta kisi ladki ke ghar rishta lekar gaya ladki ke maa baap bole humaari beti abhi padh rahi hai. Banta: koi baat nahi hum ek ghante baad aa jaaenge.

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Banta ko electric chair

Banta ko electric chair pe saza-e-maut dete hue jailor bola: bataao tumhari aakhri khwahish kya hai? Banta: Mujhe darr lag raha hai, mera haath pakad lo.

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Banta Kya hua Ye

Banta-Kya hua,Ye Mitti Kyu Khod raha hai.. Santa-Dadaji ne bola Maine unka nam Mitti me mila diya.. Wohi Dhund raha hu.

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Banta Kya tum mujhe

Banta: Kya tum mujhe apna phone number dogi? Girl: Kyun? Tumhare paas khud ka phone number nahi hai kya?

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Banta Main ek film

Banta: Main ek film director hoon, mujhe tumhare jaise chehre ki talaash thi. Girl: Main ek plastic surgeon hoon, mujhe bhi tumhare jaise chehre ki talaash thi.

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Banta mere dada ne

Banta: mere dada ne 1857 ki jang mein dushman ki tange kaat di thi. Dost: Gardan kyun nahi kaati. Banta: Wo pehle hi kati padi thi.

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Banta Meri biwi aur

Banta: Meri biwi aur main hafte mein 2 din party karte hain. Santa: Wah! Kab? Banta: Main Mon aur Tues ko, who Fri aur Sat ko.

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Banta Meri biwi ka

Banta: Meri biwi ka birthday hai, use main koi electronic item chahiye. Santa: Use electronic chair de de.

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Banta Mujhe lagta hai

Banta: Mujhe lagta hai humein bhagwan ne milaya hai. Girl: Bhagwan ne nahi mere bure naseeb ne.

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Banta ne bus mein

Banta ne bus mein ek ladki ko ched diya. Ladki: tumhare ghar mein maa behen nahi hain kya. Banta: kya pata, main to subah se ghar se baahar hun.

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Banta ne shaadi ke

Banta ne shaadi ke liye chotay qad waali ladki pasand ki. kyun ki, Santa ke hisaab se museebat jitani choti ho utni acchi hoti hai.

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Banta ne shoq shoq

Banta ne shoq shoq mein roza rakh liya, wife se pucha, dekh soraj dooba? Wife: nahi ji. Santa: lagta hai mujhe le kar doobega.

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Banta on phone Doctor

Banta on phone: Doctor my wife is pergnant. She is having pain right now. Doctor: Is this her first child? Banta: No this is her husband speaking.

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Banta Pareshan lag rahe

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho. Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu. Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai. Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.

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Banta police station aaya

Banta police station aaya aur bola: Mujhe arrest karo, maine apni biwi ke sar pe danda mara. Police: Wo mar gayi? Banta: Na. wo bach gayi. Ab meri khair nai.

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Banta Rani aaj raat

Banta: Rani aaj raat ghar aana, ghar pe koi nahi hoga. Jab Rani Banta ke ghar pahuchi toh sach mein ghar par koi nahi tha.

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Banta roti ka 1

Banta roti ka 1 tukra khud aur 1 murgi ko khila raha tha. Dost: ye kya kar rahe ho? Banta: hum khandani ameer log hain. Roz chicken ke saath roti khaate hain.

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Banta Shadi ke pehle

Banta: Shadi ke pehle saal: Miyan bolta hai, biwi sunti hai. Doosre saal: Biwi bolti hai, miyan suntan hai. Teesre saal: dono bolte hain, padosi sunte hain.

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Banta Soch raha hoon

Banta: Soch raha hoon ke USA ghoom aaon, Kitna paisa lagega? Banta: kuch bhi nahi.. Banta: wo kaise? Banta: Sochne ke liye paise nahi lagte.

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Banta There s a

Banta: There’s a Rs. 100 fine if you enter the girls hostel for the 1st time, 200 for 2nd and 300 for 3rd.
Santa: Let’s get a Monthly pass.

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