Funny Husband Wife SMS Jokes Ever

Best Husband Wife Jokes on SMS. The relationship couldn’t get more interesting!

2 Lovers plan suicide

2 Lovers plan suicide. Boy jumps, Girl closes her eyes and returns saying love is blind. Boy opens his parachute saying love never dies.

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A boy goes to

A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

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A Chinese man s

A Chinese man’s wife gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG.

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A Chinese man took

A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to deliver, She gave birth to a black baby. Surprised, he named the child: SOM TIN WONG!

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A chinese man took

A chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to deliver and she gave birth to a black baby. So he named the child: SOM TIN WONG

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A female snake tried

A female snake tried to kiss a male snake. Suddenly the male snake turned and started singing: Zehar hai ki pyaar hai tera chumma

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A guy searching these

A guy searching these keywords on google: how to tackle a wife. Google search result: good morning, sir… Even we are searching..

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A Husband and Wife

A Husband and Wife Were Arguing. After Much Discussion, Wife Finally Said: Tell Me Dear, Do You Want To Win Or Do You Want To Be Happy? Argument Ended.

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A husband is living

A husband is living proof That a wife can take a joke. A husband is what’s left of the lover. After the nerve has been extracted.

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A lady places an

A lady places an advertisement in her local paper reading: Husband Wanted. Next day she receives 100s of responses. They all read the same: Have Mine

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A Line Written On

A Line Written On A Mans T-Shirt. Girls are Devils, and my wife is their Queen!

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A line written on

A line written on a husband’s t-shirt : All girls are devil but my wife is queen.. . . . Of them..

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A man approaches a

A man approaches a woman sitting at a bar.Man: Hi, honey, want a little company? Woman: Why, Do you have one to sell?

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A man approaches a

A man approaches a woman sitting at a bar. Man: Hi, honey, want a little company? Woman: Why, Do you have one to sell?

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A man in Hell

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

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A man meets a

A man meets a friend after a long time and notices he is wearing an earring. When did you start wearing earrings? Friend: ever since my wife found one in my car

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A man on wifes

A man on wifes birthday had no money so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses. Wife: Thanks for the cheque I got it cashed from the bank manager.

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A man yells over

A man yells over phone: My wife is having labour pains. Doctor: Is this her first child? Man: No, this is her husband.

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A person who surrenders

A person who surrenders when he is WRONG is HONEST. One who SURRENDERS when not SURE is WISE. But who surrenders even if RIGHT is a HUSBAND!

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A person who surrenders

A person who surrenders when he is WRONG is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE is WISE. A person who surrenders even if he is RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

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A person who surrenders

A person who surrenders when he is wrong, is honest. A person who surrenders when not sure, is wise. A person who surrenders even if he’s right, is a husband.

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A prospective husband in

A prospective husband in a book store: do you have a book called husbands the masters of wife . Sales girl: sir comic department is on 1st floor.

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A psychological report when

A psychological report: when two couples come face to face, wives look at each other’s dresses and husbands look at each other’s wife..

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A Question Asked In

A Question Asked In A Talent Test
If You Are Married To One Of The Twin Sisters,
How Would You Recognize Your Wife?
The Answer Came: Why Should I?

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A Spouse is someone

A Spouse is someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble You wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.

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A study shows that

A study shows that an average husband speaks to his wife for about 17 minutes a week… after all how long does it take to say yes no hmm.

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A successful man is

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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A Superb add in

A Superb add in newspaper for sale. Complete set of encyclopedia in good condition. Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows everything.

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A tactful wife is

A tactful wife is the one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can’t afford another woman!

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A woman can visit

A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning she will call the same friend and they will talk for hours!

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A woman posted an

A woman posted an advertisement: Husband Wanted. Next day she received hundreds of letters stating: You can have mine!

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After a quarrel a

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, I was a fool when I married you. She replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn’t notice.

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After a quarrel Sita

After a quarrel, Sita: You know, I was a fool when I married you. Champu: Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.

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After marriage I have

After marriage, I have been in love with the same woman for so many years. If my wife ever finds out, she will kill me!

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After robbing the bank

After robbing the bank, robber to clerk: Did you see me robbing? Clerk: yes. Robber shot him dead and asked the next: did you? Clerk: no, but my wife saw you.

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always keep a picture

always keep a picture of your wife in your wallet. look at it when in trouble. you will feel that other problems are not as big as this one

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An archaeologist is the

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

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An Intelligent Husbands Prayer

An Intelligent Husbands Prayer To GOD
Give Me Wisdom To Understand My Darling
& Patience To Deal With Her Moods!
Dont Give Me Strength, Or I Might Kill Her

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An UnMarried Man Wrote

An UnMarried Man Wrote His Status On Facebook As: Need A Wife. Two Girls Liked It And 55 Men Commented – Take Mine!

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Angry husband sends sms

Angry husband sends sms to father-in-law.
Your product is not matching my requirements
smart father-in-law says
warranty expired, Manufacturer not responsible.

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Angry husband sends sms

Angry husband sends sms to father-in-law : your product is not matching my requirements. Smart father-in-law : warranty expired, manufacturer not responsible.

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Autowala Sorry sir meter

Autowala: Sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya. Ram: Koi baat nai. Main bhi apna wallet bhool aaya.

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Bachelor the only man

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

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Bachelor the only man

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

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Banta owned a factory

Banta owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed. Friend asks: Why this? Banta reply: Because married men are more obedient.

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Banta Oye where are

Banta: Oye where are you running with your pregnant wife? Santa: To pizza hut. They deliver for free!

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Bantu Is today a

Bantu: Is today a special day? Chantu: Yes, my wife has just celebrated the twentieth anniversary of her twenty-ninth birthday.

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Boy I am not

Boy: I am not rich like Rohit, I don’t even have a big car like Rohit. But I really love you! Girl: I love you too, But tell me more about Rohit.

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BOY May I hold

BOY : May I hold your hand ?? GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy

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Bride A woman with

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

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Buntu Africa mein aadmi

Buntu: Africa mein aadmi biwi ko shadi ke pehle jaanta nahi Champu: India mein toh biwi ka asli roop shadi ke baad bhi nahi jaan pata. Champu: Tune apni biwi ki shadi apne dushman se kyun karva di? Buntu: Abe samjha nahi? Maine ek teer se do shikaar kiye

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Buntu and his wife

Buntu and his wife filed for Divorce. Judge asked: How’ll you divide your kids, you have 3 children? Buntu: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR.

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Buntu I always call

Buntu: I always call my wife-darling, sweetheart. Champu: Thats nice. Romance continues, eh? Buntu: Honestly, I have forgotten her name.

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Buntu Jab aadmi apni

Buntu: Jab aadmi apni biwi ke liye car ka darwaza khole toh samjho, Ya toh biwi nayi hai ya car. Buntu: Shadi ke pehle saal: Miyan bolta hai, biwi sunti hai. Doosre saal: Biwi bolti hai, miyan suntan hai. Teesre saal: dono bolte hain, padosi sunte hain.

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Buntu Kya tum mujhe

Buntu: Kya tum mujhe apna phone number dogi? Girl: Kyun? Tumhare paas khud ka phone number nahi hai kya? Buntu: Mujhe lagta hai humein bhagwan ne milaya hai. Girl: Bhagwan ne nahi mere bure naseeb ne.

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Buntu Meri biwi aur

Buntu: Meri biwi aur main hafte mein 2 din party karte hain. Champu: Wah! Kab? Buntu: Main Mon aur Tues ko, who Fri aur Sat ko.

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Buntu Meri biwi ka

Buntu: Meri biwi ka birthday hai, use main koi electronic item chahiye. Champu: Use electronic chair de de. Buntu: tumne bhagwan se kya manga? Wife: Ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe, aur aapne? Buntu:Ye mera saatwa janam ho.

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Buntu Name the 3

Buntu: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Champu: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

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Buntu to girl Aapki

Buntu to girl: Aapki baaju wali seat khali hai? Girl: Haan, aur agar tum uspe baithe toh meri wali bhi khali ho jayegi. Girl: If we become engaged will you give me a ring? Buntu: Sure, what is your phone number?

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Buntu to girl Wah

Buntu to girl: Wah tum kitni khoobsurat ho. Ab tak kahan thi? Girl: Tumse chup rahi thi! Buntu to girl: Maine aapko pehle bhi kisi jagah dekha hai. Girl: Haan, isiliye main us jagah ab kabhi nahi jaati.

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Buntu Why do couples

Buntu: Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? Champu: It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Caller Is this the

Caller: Is this the police station? A thief is trapped in an old lady’s bedroom. Officer: Who is this? Caller: The thief!

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Champak Doc My wife

Champak: Doc! My wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help? Doc: Just come home at 3:00 am and ring the bell!

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Champak Doc My wife

Champak: Doc! My wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help? Doc: Just come home at 3:00 am and ring the bell!

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Champak Doc My wife

Champak: Doc! My wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help? Doc: Just come home at 3:00 am and ring the bell!

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Champak to Doc My

Champak to Doc: My wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help? Doc: Try coming home at three in the morning!

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Champu I am happily

Champu: I am happily married. But my wife is not. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

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Champu I bought my

Champu: I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There’s water in carburettor.” I asked, “Where’s the car?” She said In the lake.”

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Champu ki cycle chalate

Champu ki cycle chalate hue ek ladki se takraya. Ladki: Brake nahi maar sakte? Champu: Poori cycle toh maar di ab brake kya alag se maaru? Champu: Teri biwi kaise mari? Buntu: Uske mathe pe goli lagi. Champu: Chalo accha hua bechari ki aankh bach gayi.

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Champu Kisi ne mera

Champu: Kisi ne mera credit card chura liya. Buntu: Toh khush kyun hai? Champu: Kyunki biwi ab kharcha nahi kar payegi! Buntu: Shaadi ke bina aadmi adhura hai. Champu: Lekin shadi karte hi aadmi poora nahi hota, Khatam ho jata hai.

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Champu Losing a wife

Champu: “Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.”

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Champu meets ex collegue

Champu meets ex collegue Buntu after 3 years, Champu: Who are you working for now? Buntu: My wife.

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Champu ne Buntu ko

Champu ne Buntu ko office mein ladki se gale milte hue dekha. Champu: Tujhe isi kaam ke paise milte hain? Buntu: Nahi, yeh main free mein karta hoon. Buntu: Rani aaj raat ghar aana, ghar pe koi nahi hoga. Jab Rani Buntu ke ghar pahuchi toh sach mein ghar

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Champu Teri biwi mar

Champu: Teri biwi mar gayi toh kya karega. Buntu: Mar jaunga. Champu: Kya pyar hai! Buntu: Abe! itni khushi bardaasht nahi kar paunga. Buntu: Mujhse shaadi karogi? Girl: Main tumse 1 saal badi hoon. Buntu: Koi nahi, agle saal shaadi kar lenge.

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Champu to Buntu All

Champu to Buntu: All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Champu to Buntu: Sign in a marriage counselor’s window: Out to lunch – Think it over.

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