Hindi Husband Wife Jokes SMS

A man was walking in rain. A lady came: why don’t you share my umbrella? Man: it’s ok sister and walked away. Moral: moral kuch nahi, piche biwi aa rahi hai.

A woman was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her finger and sent it to her husband and demanded money. Husband replied: I want more proofs, zubaan bhejo zubaan.

Advocate: talaak karane ke liye Rs-3000. Husband : paagal ho kya? Pandit ji ne Rs -101 mein hi shaadi karvaai thi. Advocate : dekh liya saste ka nateeja.

Airport par pati apni biwi ko recieve karne aaya. Biwi: dekho wo couple kitna khush hai. Pati: wo apni biwi ko drop karne aaya hai, recieve karne nahi.

An old rich man marries a young girl. Interviewer asks to girl: Aapne inme shaadi ke liye kya dekha. Girl-ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kam.

An unmarried man wrote his status on facebook as: Wanted wife, two girls liked it. and 140 men commented.. Meri leja.

Apni wife ko impress karne ka aasaan tareeka, . . . Wife hai jo tareeka dhundh rahe ho…? . . . Jazbaat to dekho aajkal ke bacchon ke.

Beggar- oh sundari. Andha hoon. Sawa paanch rupay de de.. Husband said to his wife- de de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…

Beta Girl Friend ke Saath Date Ke Baad Ghar Aaya To Baap Ne Pocha: Kitne Paise Kharch Kiye? Beta: Rs.50. Baap: Itne Saare Kyon? Beta: Uske Paas Itne Hi The.

Biwi: Bataao Wo Kaunsi Cheez Hai Jo Tum Roz Dekh Toh Sakte Ho Magar Tod Nahi Sakte? Shohar: Tumhara Sar Meri Jaan!

Biwi (Gusse Mein): Tumhare Dimaag Mein Toh sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai. Shohar: Toh Phir Itni Der Se Kha Kyun Rahi Ho?

Biwi gusse mein: tumhare dimaag mein to sirf gobar hi bhara hai. Husband pyaar se: to phir itni der se kha kyun rahi ho.

Biwi maike jaa kar har roz shohar ko phone kyun karti hai? Taaki shohar ko yaad rahe, musibat abhi tali nahi, wapas bhi aayegi.

Chantu ki Biwi Bimaar Thi. Light Na Hone Se Usne Candle Jala Di Aur Bola: Doc Ko Lene Ja Raha Hoon. Agar Tumhe Lage ke Tum Nahi Bachogi Toh Candle Bujha Dena.

Difference between friend and wife, you can tell your friend, you are my best Friend, but do you have courage to tell to your wife, you are my best wife?

Difference between husband and gadha? Husband gadha ban sakta hai, but gadha itna gadha nahi hota ke husband ban jaaye.

Difference between husband and gadha. Answer: Husband gadha ban sakta hai, but gadha itna bhi gadha nahi ke husband ban jaaye..

Doctor: Aapki dimaagi beemaari ka kya haal hai? Patient: Theek hai, aaj kal maike gai hui hai.

Ek aadmi 14th floor se neeche gir raha tha. Girte huye unse khidki se apni biwi ko roti banate huye dekha aur kaha: Mere liye roti nahi banana.

Ek aadmi apni biwi ko dafna kar ghar aaya to aasman mein baadal garajane lage, toofan aa gaya. Aadmi aasman ki taraf dekh kar bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai.

Ek aadmi raat ko party se late ghar aaya, next day dosto ne pucha wife ne kuch kaha to nahi? Aadmi: kuch khaas nahi ye daant mein waise hi niklawaane wala tha.

Ek aurat ki aankh bahut sooji huyi thi. Saheli ne poocha kisne maara? Aurat: Pati ne. Saheli: Par mujhe to laga wo sheher se bahar gaye the. Aurat: Mujhe bhi!

Friends are like priya gold biscuit, haq se maango. Girlfriends are like pepsi, yeh dil maange more. Wife is like a medicine bas ek hi kaafi hai.

Husband and Wife Fighting. Husband: Ye Masla Hume Akal Se Hal Karna Chahiye. Biwi: Haan! Taake Tum Jeet Jaao aur Main Haar Jaau.

Husband: HYPNOTIZE karna kya hota hai? Wife: Kisi ko CONTROL karke apni MARZI ke kaam karana. Husband: Chal jhooti, usse to SHAADI kehte hain.

Husband: Jaan socha call kar loon, tum miss kar rahi hogi? Wife:5 min pehle jo ladaai hui thi wo kya tha? Husband: fittay moo, phir ghar ka number mil gaya.

Husband: Kal mere khawaab main ek ladki aayi. Kya Ladki thi. Wife: Akeli aayi hogi? Husband: Tum ko kaise pata? Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!

Husband wife mein ladaai hui. Husband ghar se chalaa gaya, Husband phone pe: Khaane mein kya hai. Wife:Zeher Husband: Main dair se aaonga, tum khaakar soo jao.

Husband Wife Say: Darling Tum Mujhe ek Jagah Se Bahut Acchi Lagti Ho. Wife: Kahan Se? Husband: Doooooooooor Se.

Kisi mahaan hasti ne kaha hai, aurat ki aadhi zindagi husband ki talaash mein aur baqi aadhi uski talaashi mein guzar jaati hai.

Kudrat Ne Aurat ko Haseen Banaya. Sundarta di, Hirani Si Aankhe, Resham Se Baal, Gulaab Se Honth, Pyar Bhara Dil Diya. Phir Zuban Di aur sab satyanash Ho gaya!

Lady: Mujhy mere pati se talaak chahiye. Vakil: Magar wo to kabaddi champion hai. Lady: Yeh hi to problem hai. Zaalim sirf haath lagaa kar bhaag jaata hai.

Maaru marte waqt: Tum kahan ho? Biwi: Main yahi hoon. Maaru: Aur bacche. Hum bhi yahi hai papa. Maaru: Toh phir saath waale kamre ka pankha kyun chal raha hai?

Man 1: Yaa khuda mujhe chhipkali bana de. Man 2: Aisi weird dua kyun maang rahe ho bhai? Man 1: Kyunki meri biwi sirf chhipkali se darti hai.

Man: Jo Chori Karta Hai Wo Baad Main Pachtata Hai. Wife: Tumne Shaadi Se Pehle Mera Dil Churaya Uska Kya? Man: Main Apna Khayal Pehle Hi Zahir Kar Chuka Hoon.

Man: Khana taiyar hai? Biwi: Nahi. Man: Main bahar kha leta hoon. Biwi: 5 mins ruko. Man: 5mins mein khana taiyar ho jaayega? Biwi: Nahi main taiyar ho jaaungi.

Naya SIM phone mein daal kar biwi ke pati ko surprise call kiya aur kaha. Hello darling! Pati ne jawaab diya: Mujhe baad mein call karo, Dian abhi aati hi hogi.

Pati Mehman Se: Aur Sunaao! Thanda Piyoge Ya Garam? Mehman: Thanda Aur Garam Dono. Pati: Begum ek Glass Freezar Se Aur Ek Glass Geezar Se Paani Le Aao.

Pati Office Ja Raha Tha. Patni Pyar Se Boli: See You In The Evening. Pati Gusse Se: Dhamki Kise De Rahi Hai, Main Bhi Tujhe Dekh Lunga.

Pati: Yaad hai tere papa ne hume pakda aur kaha ya toh meri beti se shaadi karo ya 14 saal jail mein jaao. Patni: Haan toh. Pati: Aaj main jail se choot jaata.

Patni: Soch Rahi Hoon USA Ghoom Aaun. Kitna Paisa Lagega? Pati: Kuch Bhi Nahi. Patni: Wo Kaise? Pati: Sochne ke Liye Paise Nahi Lagte.

Patni tv par match dekh rahi thi, pati smart bankar patni ke pass aaya aur bola: darling main kaisa lag raha hon? Tabhi patni zor se chilaayi. Chakka.

What Is The Similarity Between Sun and Wife? Yahi Ke Dono Ki Taraf Aankh Utha Kar Nahin Dekha Ja Sakta Hai.

Wife: aaj koi aisi baat kaho ke main khush bhi ho jaaun aur jal bhi jaaun. Husband: tum meri zindagi ho. Wife: aur? Husband: aur lannat hai aisi zindagi par.

Wife: Aap mujhse kitna pyar karte hain? Husband: Main tumse itna pyar karta hoon ke tumhara jhoota zeher bhi pee sakta hoon. Yakeen na ho to aazma lo.

Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurti jyada achi lagti hai ya aqalmandi. Husband: Mujhe to tumhari ye mazaaq karne ki aadat acchi lagti hai.

Wife: aji, agar main gum ho gayi to tum kya karoge? Husband: its the time to disco. Kaun dhondega tujhko, kabhi na mile tu mujhko.

Wife: Aji sunte ho ghar me namak nai hai daal me kya daalu. Husband: Dimaag to hai nahi, wo naya wala colgate dal de usme namak hai.

Wife gaana gaa rahi thi. Husband: Jab tum gaati ho to lagta hai Indira Gandhi ga rahi ho. Wife: Par usse Gaana hi nahi ata tha. Husband: Jaanta hoon. Tabhi toh!

Wife: If I die what will you do? Husband: Main paagal ho jaaunga. Wife: Will you marry again after I die? Husband: Paagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai.

Wife: Jaanu, Kaash Aap SMS Hote. Main Aapko Save Karti, Jab Chahe Padhti, Husband: Kanjoos, Save Hi Kar ke Rakhti Ya Apni Kisi Saheli Ko forward Bhi Karti?

Wife: Jab Tum Desi Peete Ho toh Mujhe Paro Kehte Ho. Jab Whisky Peete Ho To Darling. Aaj Kya Piya Hai Jo Chudail Keh Rahe Ho? Husband: Aaj Main Hosh Mein Hoon.

Wife kitchen se: Aajkal main khoobsurat hoti jaa rahi hoon. Husband: Tumne kaise jana? Wife: Aajkal meri khoobsurati dekh kar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hain.

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain. Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain aur wife be-gum ho jaati hai.

Wife: Main abhi-abhi beauty parlour se aa rahi hoon. Husband: arre aaj bhi band tha kya?

Wife: main Driver ko Naukari se nikaal rahi hoon, kyon ke aaj main doosri baar marte marte bachi hoon. Husband: Begum, please. Usse ek aur mauka toh do.

Wife: Main maike jaa rahi hoon, tujhe talaak ki notice bhej dungi. Husband: Ja ja, mithi mithi baatein karke mujhe khush karne Ki koshish mat kar.

Wife: Maine aapke birthday ke liye itna menhga suit liya hai. Husband: shukar hai, mera bhi khayal aaya, dikhaao. Wife: main abhi pehen ke aati hun.

Wife: Mene suna hai ke Jannat me Mardon ko Hooren milengi. To aurton ko kya milega? Husband: Kuch nahi, Allah sirf mazloomon ki sunta hai.

Wife: saamne waale ghar mein miyan biwi ki fight chal rahi hai. Aap ek baar jaa ke pata to karo. Husband: main gaya tha, shayad ye usi wajah se lad rahe hain.

Wife: Shaadi ki raat aapne jab mera ghunghat uthaya to mein kaisi lag rahi thi. Husband: Main to mar hi jaata agar mujhe Hanuman Chalisa na yaad hoti.

Wife: Subah Mere Chehre Pe Pani Kyo Dala, Husband: Tere Baap Ne Kaha Tha ke Meri Beti PHOOL Ki Tarha Hai, Isse Murjhane Mat Dena.

Wife: Suno ji doctor ne mujhe ek maheenay ke araam ke liye beautiful foreign country jaane ko kaha hai. Hum kahan jaayenge? Husband: doosre doctor ke paas.

Wife To Husband: Tum To Kehte The ke Shaadi ke Baad Bhi Mujhe Pyaar Karte Rahohe. Husband: Sorry! Mujhe Maloom Nahi Tha Ke Tumhari Shaadi Mujhse Hi Hogi.

Wife to husband. Wife: Aaj mere tan, man mein aag laga do. Husband ne patrol phenk ke aag laga di. Moral? jazbaat ka izhaar aasaan lafzon mein karein