Marriage Jokes You Can't Resist

We have decided to make you laugh with the best of Marriage jokes in Hindi and English about weddings, divorces, dating, husbands, wives, Honeymoons and more!

2 Lovers plan suicide

2 Lovers plan suicide. Boy jumps, Girl closes her eyes and returns saying love is blind. Boy opens his parachute saying love never dies.

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A boy goes to

A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

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A Chinese man s

A Chinese man’s wife gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG.

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A Chinese man took

A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to deliver, She gave birth to a black baby. Surprised, he named the child: SOM TIN WONG!

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A chinese man took

A chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to deliver and she gave birth to a black baby. So he named the child: SOM TIN WONG

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A Couple Before Marriage

A Couple Before Marriage- MAD For Each Other. After Marriage MADE For Each Other. And A Few Years Later MAD Because Of Each Other.

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A Famous Writer Said

A Famous Writer Said Love Is Like A Long Sweet Dream And Marriage Is An Alarm Clock. So Have Sweet Dreams Till your Alarm Wakes you Up.

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A female snake tried

A female snake tried to kiss a male snake. Suddenly the male snake turned and started singing: Zehar hai ki pyaar hai tera chumma

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A guy is watching

A guy is watching TV and suddenly Yells, “Don’t enter that church you fool!” His wife asks him, “What are you watching?” “OUR WEDDING!”

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A guy searching these

A guy searching these keywords on google: how to tackle a wife. Google search result: good morning, sir… Even we are searching..

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A happy man marries

A happy man marries the girl he loves, a happier man loves the girl he marries.

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A Husband and Wife

A Husband and Wife Were Arguing. After Much Discussion, Wife Finally Said: Tell Me Dear, Do You Want To Win Or Do You Want To Be Happy? Argument Ended.

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A husband is living

A husband is living proof That a wife can take a joke. A husband is what’s left of the lover. After the nerve has been extracted.

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A lady places an

A lady places an advertisement in her local paper reading: Husband Wanted. Next day she receives 100s of responses. They all read the same: Have Mine

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A Line Written On

A Line Written On A Mans T-Shirt. Girls are Devils, and my wife is their Queen!

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A line written on

A line written on a husband’s t-shirt : All girls are devil but my wife is queen.. . . . Of them..

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A Little Kid Asks

A Little Kid Asks His Dad: Daddy,How Much Does It Cost To Get Married? No Idea, Replied The Father. I am Still Paying For It.

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A man approaches a

A man approaches a woman sitting at a bar.Man: Hi, honey, want a little company? Woman: Why, Do you have one to sell?

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A man approaches a

A man approaches a woman sitting at a bar. Man: Hi, honey, want a little company? Woman: Why, Do you have one to sell?

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A man before marriage

A man before marriage is superman, after marriage gentleman, 5 years later watchman, 10 years later apne hi jaal mein fasa hua spiderman.

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A man in Hell

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

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A man meets a

A man meets a friend after a long time and notices he is wearing an earring. When did you start wearing earrings? Friend: ever since my wife found one in my car

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A man on wifes

A man on wifes birthday had no money so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses. Wife: Thanks for the cheque I got it cashed from the bank manager.

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A man was walking

A man was walking in rain. A lady came: why don’t you share my umbrella? Man: it’s ok sister and walked away. Moral: moral kuch nahi, piche biwi aa rahi hai.

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A man yells over

A man yells over phone: My wife is having labour pains. Doctor: Is this her first child? Man: No, this is her husband.

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A One line advertisement

A One line advertisement by a Married Man in a Newspaper. For Sale: Wedding Suit, wore only once by mistake.

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A person who surrenders

A person who surrenders when he is WRONG is HONEST. One who SURRENDERS when not SURE is WISE. But who surrenders even if RIGHT is a HUSBAND!

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A person who surrenders

A person who surrenders when he is WRONG is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE is WISE. A person who surrenders even if he is RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

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A person who surrenders

A person who surrenders when he is wrong, is honest. A person who surrenders when not sure, is wise. A person who surrenders even if he’s right, is a husband.

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A prospective husband in

A prospective husband in a book store: do you have a book called husbands the masters of wife . Sales girl: sir comic department is on 1st floor.

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A psychological report when

A psychological report: when two couples come face to face, wives look at each other’s dresses and husbands look at each other’s wife..

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A Question Asked In

A Question Asked In A Talent Test
If You Are Married To One Of The Twin Sisters,
How Would You Recognize Your Wife?
The Answer Came: Why Should I?

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A Spouse is someone

A Spouse is someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble You wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.

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A study shows that

A study shows that an average husband speaks to his wife for about 17 minutes a week… after all how long does it take to say yes no hmm.

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A successful man is

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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A successful marriage is

A successful marriage is where husband gives money, gifts, dresses and wife takes it and where wife gives advices, lectures, tensions and husband takes it….

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A Superb add in

A Superb add in newspaper for sale. Complete set of encyclopedia in good condition. Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows everything.

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A Sweet Demand By

A Sweet Demand By A Kid. He Was Beaten Up By His Mom. Dad Asked What Happnd Son? Kid Said I Cant Adjust With your Wife Anymore, I Want My Own.

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A tactful wife is

A tactful wife is the one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can’t afford another woman!

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A wedding anniversary is

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

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A woman can visit

A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning she will call the same friend and they will talk for hours!

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A woman posted an

A woman posted an advertisement: Husband Wanted. Next day she received hundreds of letters stating: You can have mine!

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A woman was kidnapped

A woman was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her finger and sent it to her husband and demanded money. Husband replied: I want more proofs, zubaan bhejo zubaan.

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Advocate talaak karane ke

Advocate: talaak karane ke liye Rs-3000. Husband : paagal ho kya? Pandit ji ne Rs -101 mein hi shaadi karvaai thi. Advocate : dekh liya saste ka nateeja.

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Aeroplane Wright brothers Cycle

Aeroplane – Wright brothers
Cycle – Macmillan
Telephone – Graham Bell
Telescope – Galileo
TV – Baired
Love – Adam
Marriage – Dhundo saale ko pakad ke maarenge.

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After a quarrel a

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, I was a fool when I married you. She replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn’t notice.

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After a quarrel Sita

After a quarrel, Sita: You know, I was a fool when I married you. Champu: Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.

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After marriage I have

After marriage, I have been in love with the same woman for so many years. If my wife ever finds out, she will kill me!

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After robbing the bank

After robbing the bank, robber to clerk: Did you see me robbing? Clerk: yes. Robber shot him dead and asked the next: did you? Clerk: no, but my wife saw you.

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Agar aapki shaadi nahi

Agar aapki shaadi nahi huyi hai to isi saal kar lein. Agle saal se Government iske liye bhi exam rakh rahi hai. Tt will be known as MAT Marriage Assesment Test

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Agar husband wife ke

Agar husband, wife ke liye car ka darwaaza khole, to samajh jaao ke do hi wajah ho sakti hain, yaa to car new hai ya wife.

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Airport par pati apni

Airport par pati apni biwi ko recieve karne aaya. Biwi: dekho wo couple kitna khush hai. Pati: wo apni biwi ko drop karne aaya hai, recieve karne nahi.

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All trAgediEs aRe Finished

All trAgediEs aRe Finished by A deAth aNd All cOmedies by A MARRIAGE.

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always keep a picture

always keep a picture of your wife in your wallet. look at it when in trouble. you will feel that other problems are not as big as this one

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An archaeologist is the

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

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An Intelligent Husbands Prayer

An Intelligent Husbands Prayer To GOD
Give Me Wisdom To Understand My Darling
& Patience To Deal With Her Moods!
Dont Give Me Strength, Or I Might Kill Her

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An old rich man

An old rich man marries a young girl. Interviewer asks to girl: Aapne inme shaadi ke liye kya dekha. Girl-ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kam.

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An UnMarried Man Wrote

An UnMarried Man Wrote His Status On Facebook As: Need A Wife. Two Girls Liked It And 55 Men Commented – Take Mine!

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An unmarried man wrote

An unmarried man wrote his status on facebook as: Wanted wife, two girls liked it. and 140 men commented.. Meri leja.

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Angle Said I Cant

Angle Said: I Cant Be Everywhere To Help You, So I Created MOTHER. Devil Replied: Me Too, I Cant Be Everywhere, So I Created MOTHER-IN-LAW.

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Angry husband sends sms

Angry husband sends sms to father-in-law.
Your product is not matching my requirements
smart father-in-law says
warranty expired, Manufacturer not responsible.

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Angry husband sends sms

Angry husband sends sms to father-in-law : your product is not matching my requirements. Smart father-in-law : warranty expired, manufacturer not responsible.

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Angry Husband When We

Angry Husband: When We Married, You Promised To Love, Honor and Obey Me. Bride: I Know. I Didnt Want To Start An Argument In Front Of All People At The Wedding.

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Apni wife ko impress

Apni wife ko impress karne ka aasaan tareeka, . . . Wife hai jo tareeka dhundh rahe ho…? . . . Jazbaat to dekho aajkal ke bacchon ke.

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Arrange marriage is while

Arrange marriage is while you are walking unfortunately a snake bites you. But Love Marriage is going to the snake and saying bite me brother!

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Attending A Wedding For

Attending A Wedding For The First Time, A Little Boy Asked His Father: Why Is The Groom Dressed In Black? Because Black Is The Color Of Mourning Child.

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Autowala Sorry sir meter

Autowala: Sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya. Ram: Koi baat nai. Main bhi apna wallet bhool aaya.

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Bachelor the only man

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

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Bachelor the only man

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

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Banta owned a factory

Banta owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed. Friend asks: Why this? Banta replied: Because married men are more obedient.

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Banta owned a factory

Banta owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed. Friend asks: Why this? Banta reply: Because married men are more obedient.

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Banta Oye where are

Banta: Oye where are you running with your pregnant wife? Santa: To pizza hut. They deliver for free!

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Bantu Is today a

Bantu: Is today a special day? Chantu: Yes, my wife has just celebrated the twentieth anniversary of her twenty-ninth birthday.

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Before marriage Roses are

Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue, o my darling. I love you. After marriage: Roses are dead, I have flu, do not come near to me, I am bored of you.

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Beggar oh sundari Andha

Beggar- oh sundari. Andha hoon. Sawa paanch rupay de de.. Husband said to his wife- de de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…

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