Funny Kids SMS Jokes

A baby monkey asked his mother, why are we so ugly? Mother said: Thank God we look like this you should see the person reading this SMS!

A baby monkey asked his mother, Why are we so ugly? Mother said: Do not complain son, We look far better than the one reading this SMS!

A boy goes to a cabaret dance bar. His mom is angry and asks: Did you see anything you should not have seen there. Son: Ya I saw Dad there.

A kid calls his maths teachers house everyday. Teachers wife: I have told you 100 times that my husband is dead. Why do you call. Kid: Feels good to hear it!

A kid on his way home with his mom saw a couple kissing on the road, he suddenly shouted and said look mom look, that boy and girl are fighting for a chewing gum.

A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came and asked to kid- What happened son? Kid said- I cannot adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.

A man knocks at the door. A 10 years old boy comes with cigarette in one hand and beer in other. Man: Is daddy at home? Boy: Look at me? What do you think?

Aadmi apne bachay se: beta sharaab mat peena, warna yeh jo do aadmi ja rahe hain tumhain chaar nazar aayenge. Bacha: magar papa wo to ek aadmi hai.

Boy: Mom I got only one answer wrong out of 30. Mom: Good, so your score must be 29. Boy: No mom, I couldn’t answer the remaining 29 at all.

Boy walks in to a strip club and see’s mom and gets caught Mom: Did you see anything you weren’t supposed to see? Boy: Yeah, dad.

Buntu: Would you punish me for some thing I did not do? Teacher: No, of course not. Buntu: good, I didn’t do my homework.

Cute Arguement! Ek Baccha Rote Huye Apni Maa Se: Papa Ne Mujhe Kiss Nahi Kiya. Maa: Beta Aap Ne ABC Nahi Sunaai Hogi? Beta: To Ap Kon Sa Roz ABC Sunati Hain

Dad: Beta is baar mein tujhe bike zarur dilaonga. Exam mein paas hue to honda 70 collage jaane ke liye aur fail hue to rajdoot dudh bechne ke liye.

Do bhai exam hall mein. Teacher: Tum dono ne apne father ka naam different kyun likha? Ek bhai: Aap phir bolti ke humne copy ki hai. hamaare paas dimaagh hai.

Ek nursery class ka baccha: mam main aapko kaisa lagta hu? Madam: oh,very sweet.. baccha apne dost se: Dekha, maine kaha tha na line maarti hai.

Father: How are your grades? Son: Under water. Father: What! Son: Below C level.

Girl: Mummy, my tummy is aching. Mom: That’s because you haven’t eaten anything. Your tummy must be empty. Girl: Now I know why you had a headache last night.

Height of good luck. Teacher: hey you, stand up and tell me two pronouns . Student: who, me? Teacher: very good sit down.

Height Of Laziness. Son: Dad Ek Glass Pani Do. Dad: Khud Lo. Son: Do na. Dad: Agar Fir Maanga To Thappad Dunga. Son: Jab Thappad Marne Aao To Pani Leke Aana.

Lady: Chantu, what does your father do? My father’s dead, Ma’am. Lady: I am sorry. What did he do before he died? Chantu: He went blue and collapsed.

Mam: aaj tum late kyun aaye? Student : miss, aap meri itni fikar mat kiya karo, dost shak karte hain.

Mam : Correct the sentence, A bull and a cow is grazing. Student : A cow and a bull is grazing. Mam : How? Student : Ladies First.

Mam ko susu ke naam se nafrat thi. Mam ne kaha Jab susu aye bolo- Aap aya hai. Ek student ko potty aayi. Mam Aap aya hai? Student: Nahi Aap ka baap aya hai

Mam: Oxygen is must for Breathing. It was discovered in 1773. Santa: Thank God I was born after that . Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .

Maths Teacher: If you have 8 apples and you need to distribute it among 6 people how will you do it? Pappu: Simple mam, I will make a milkshake and distribute.

Mom: Golu, do you like to go to school? Golu: I love to go to school and to come back too. It is the in-between part that I hate!

Mom: Pray before you begin eating. Son: No, not today. Grandma has cooked food today, and she knows how to cook.

Mother: Mrs. Jokes next door has a new baby. Daughter: What will she do with her old one?

Mother: You prayed for grandma, grandpa, and Aunt Sue. Why did you not pray for Uncle John too? Daughter: I did not want to ask for too much.

Pappu: My grandpa knew the exact time of his death in advance! Gappu: How did he know all that? Pappu: A Judge told him

Parent: I would like a day without punishing you. Little Mike: You have my full permission!

Principal: School ka time 8 baje ka tha or tum 9:30 baje aa rahe ho? Student: Aap hamara intezaar mat kiya karo, school laga diya karo.

Private school ke bacche zoo mein: Hey Look. Monkey is sleeping, do not disturb Govt. school ke bacche: Oye. Dekh tera pyo so raha hai. Chal pathar maarey.

Ramu: Mere papa bahut darpok hain. Pappu: Why? Ramu: Jab bhi road cross karte hain, meri ungli pakad lete hain aur kehte chhodna mat.

Sir: Name the animal which live in water & land. Boy: Frog. Sir :Now name such 4 animals. Boy:Frog’s mother, Frog’s father, Frog’s sister

Sir to Student: Jo cheez tumhe tang yaa pareshan kare usse apne paas bhi na bhatakne do. Student: Chal fir bahar nikal.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is who tries to explain his ideas in a strange way such that another person can’t understand him.

Son: Have you ever been to Egypt. Dad: No Son, Why? Son: Then how did you manage to get such a scary Mummy?

Student school mein gadha leke aaya. Teacher: ye gadha kyun laaye ho? Student: teacher aap hi to kehti hain ke maine bade bade gadho ko insaan banaya hai.

Teacher: Bataao Aurangzeb alamgir ne kahan se kahan tak hukumat ki? Student: page number 19 se 25 tak.

Teacher: bataao cold drink nuksaan deti hai ya faida? Student: agar koi pila de to faida, agar pilani pad jaaye to nuksaan.

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August. Student: A HOLIDAY

Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a woman. What do we learn from this? Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman.

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of coincidence? Pappu : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

Teacher: Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? Johnny: Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.

Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Teacher: Draw A Diagaram Of Bacteria. Kid: Here It Is Sir. Teacher: Where? You Havent Drawn Anything Kid: Sir, Can you See Bacteria Without Microscope?

Teacher: Give an example of how heat expands things and cold contracts them. Pappu: Well, the days are longer in summer and shorter in winter.

Teacher: How old is your father? Jhonny: As old as I am. Teacher: How is it possible? Jhonny: He became father after I was born.

Teacher: I wish you would pay a little attention! Student: I am paying as little as I can sir!

Teacher: Kabir ka doha sunao. Student: kabira kaiso kaiso, doha diyo banaaye, khud toh upar khisak liyo, humko gayo fasaaye.

Teacher: Main teri jaan nikaal dungi, iska english translation kya hoga. Student: English gayi bhaad mein, tu haath to laga ke dikha.

Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing? Student: Brotherly love

Teacher point’s ruler at me. Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot! Me: Which end do you mean?

Teacher: Students, we should treat poor people with sympathy and love. Golu stood up and said: Oh, now, I understand why my father hugs our maid everyday.

Teacher: Sunny is a bright boy, but he spends too much time thinking about girls. Mother: Tell me if you find a solution. His dad has the same problem.

Teacher: Tell me the names of all planets. Student: venus earth mars. Teacher: Aur sunao. Student: Bilkul theek thak aap sunao.

Teacher: tenses ki koi misaal dein. Jaise, main khoobsurat thi, khoobsurat hu aur khoobsurat rahungi. Baccha: aapko wehem tha, wehem hai aur wehem rahega.

Teacher: The people of turkey are called Turks, now tell me what are the people of Germany called? Student: They are called Germs.

Teacher: There is no difficulty in the world that we cannot overcome. Pupil: Have you ever tried squeezing the toothpaste back into the tube, Sir?

Teacher to boy: ek taraf paisa hai ek taraf dimaag. Kya loge? Boy: paisa. Teacher: agar mein hoti to dimaag leti. Boy: jiske paas jo nahi hoga wo wahi lega na.

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Raju: I wont come, my mother will not allow me to go so far

Teacher: Translate into English – Mere sir de baal, udd gaye hawa de naal. Student: Hair of your Tind, have gone with the Wind.

Teacher :What happened in 1809? Student: Abraham Lincoln was born. Teacher: What happened in 1819? Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old.

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Pappu : Hijklmno. Teacher : What are you talking about? Pappu : Yesterday you said it is H 2 O.

Teacher: What was your mother before she was married? Student (confused): Sir, I didn’t have a mother before she was married.

Teacher: Whoever answers my question can go home. Pappu throws his bag out of the window. Teacher: Who threw that bag. Pappu: I did, and now I can go right?

Teacher: Why are you late? Kid: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: Were you helping him look for it? Kid: No, I was standing on it.

Teacher- you should aim for 90% marks. Student-I will get 100% marks. Teacher- what… Why are you kidding? Student- who started?