Jija Saali SMS Jokes to spice up the fun

Friend: What is the similarity between a saali and petrol?
Jiju: 1. both are explosive, 2. both are hot and 3. both are dangerous when kept in open!

Jija Saali Sms
Jija: saali ji, ap ke yahan ki sab se famous cheez kaunsi hai?
Saali: jija ji, jo famous thi, use to aap le gaye.

Jija: Suno jara.
Saali: Chup jiju, Khate time baat nahi karte,
Khaane ke baad
Saali: Ab bolo
Jija: Teri plate mein cockroch tha, aur ban le Heroine!

Jija to Saali:Har kamayab aadmi ke pichhe aurat hoti hai, jo use itna pareshan karti hai ki wo kaam mein busy ho jata hai aur kamyabi khud uske kadam chumti hai

Jija was walking in rain.
Saali: Why don’t you share my umbrella?
Jija: No its ok and walked away.
Moral: Moral voral kuch nahi. Saali dikhne mein ugly thi!

Jija: What are you doing this weekend? Saali: Nothing much! Why? are you and didi taking me for a movie? Jija: No, I need someone to take care of my dog.

Jiju asks Saali: Vidaai ke time tumhaari behen itna kyu royi?
Saali: Agar aapko pata chale ki ghar se le ja ke koi
aapse bartan manjvayega to aap kya nachenge?

Jiju: Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya hai?
Saali: Ek Number ke CHOR, jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai.

Jiju: Muskurana to har ladki ki adaa hai.
Saali: Wah!
Jiju: Gaur farmaiye.
Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.
Use jo mohabbat samjhe wo sabse bada GADHA hai.

Jiju: Tum Chinese jaisi kyu dikhti ho?
Saali: Mere dad Chinese the.
Jiju: Wo kaha hai?
Saali: Mar gaye.
Jija: Oh! Aakhir China ka maal tha, chalta bhi kitna!

Jiju: Wow.
Your sister looks so perfect with incredible body and flower like skin. What does she use?
Saali: Adobe Photoshop!

Joota chupaai ki rasm mein dulhae ki sali ne kaha:
Main to 1100 lungi.
Doosri sali boli main 2100 lungi.
Peeche se 1 pathan bola: 2310 lelo, us main FM Bhi hai.

Saali: 45 Kg Ki Ladki Uthaane mein Ladko ko Preshani nahi hoti, but 18Kg ka Gas Cylinder Uthaane mein pasine chhut jaate hai. Kyun?
Jija: Kaminapan hai aur kya.

Saali: Aap is ghar ke damaad hai. Hum aapk liye aag pe chal sakte hai.
Jija: Kya tum mera bill bhar ke aa sakti ho?
Saali: Kya? Dhoop dekhi hai kitni tez hai?

Saali: Agar behen se shaadi karni hai to monthlymom ko 10 kg aata aur papa ki car mein 20 litre petrol dena hoga.
Jiju: Behen chalta hoon, ma baba ko Hi kehna.

Saali: Agar cigarette ke paise bachate to samne khadi BMW aapki hoti.
Jiju: Tum cigarette nahi peeti. kya wo car tumhari hai?
Saali: No
Jiju: Wo car meri hi hai

Saali: Jija ji 500 Rs. Dedo, agle hafte lauta dungi.
Jija: Tu 500 Nahi 1000 Le, par Abhi de de.

Saali: Jiju, what are you doing?
Jiju: Texting the most beautiful girl in the world.
Saali: Aw How cute!
Jiju: Ya! But she is not replying, so I am texting you.

Saali: kya kar rahe ho?
Jija: Makhiyan maar raha hoon.
Saali: kitni maari?
Jija: 3 male or 2 female
Saali: Kaise?
Jija: 3 sharab ki bottle pe thi or do phone pe

Saali ne Jija ke kamre pe notice likha:
Khidki par parde daal kar rakhiye. Aapka Pyaar andha ho sakta hai, magar hamare ghar ke naukar nahi.

Saali:Where do you see MANGOES?
Jija:Mango tree? Saali:No
Jija:Fruit shop? Saali:No
Jija:Maaza? Saali:No
Jija: ?
Saali:Jaha beautiful woman goes
Piche MAN GOES.

Saali: Which computer do you have?
Jiju: I have an core i7 at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram
& nvidia gtx 560 card.
Jiju: How about you?
Saali: A PINK ONE!

Saali: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18 years and marriage age 21 years?
Jiju: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

What is the difference between wife’s and saali’s tears?
Classic Answer
Saali’s tears affect man’s heart and wife’s tears affect man’s pocket.