Funny Definitions SMS Jokes

Funny Definitions of day today words. Get ready to join the laughter gang!

A celebrity is a

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

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A compromise is an

A compromise is an agreement where by both parties get what neither of them wanted.

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A conservative is a

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who however has never learned how to walk forward.

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A fool is a

A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.

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A kiss is a

A kiss is a upper preparation for a lower invasion that will lead to further penetration with fast acceleration that will build the next generation.

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A poster showing a

A poster showing a fish caught on a hook, the caption read as – Even a fish would stay out of trouble if it kept its mouth shut.

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An expert is a

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

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Banker Person who gives

Banker: Person who gives you an umbrella when it is shining and takes it away when it rains.

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Beer Giving you the

Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.

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Classic novel A book

Classic novel – A book which people praise, but seldom read.

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Compromise The art of

Compromise – The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.

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Conference room A place

Conference room – A place where everyone talks, no one listens, and later everyone disagrees about what was said.

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Conference The confusion of

Conference -The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

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Consultant Person who takes

Consultant: Person who takes the watch off your wrist to tell you the time.

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Darkest the exact moment

Darkest: the exact moment you’re trying to find your seat at a movie.

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Decided to get in

Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today… Made myself a sandwich

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Decided to get in

Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today… Made myself a sandwich

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Definition of a truly

Definition of a truly courteous man: Someone who says: Excuse me – before farting and says: Sorry after that!

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Definition of don t

Definition of don’t try this at home? = Don’t let your parents see you do this.

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Definition of don t

Definition of don’t try this at home? = Don’t let your parents see you do this.

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Definition of Ex Thanks

Definition of Ex? = Thanks for the EXperience. Our time has EXpired. Now EXit my life.

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Definition of Ex Thanks

Definition of Ex? = Thanks for the EXperience. Our time has EXpired. Now EXit my life.

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Definition of flirtationship More

Definition of flirtationship? More than a friendship, less than a relationship.

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Definition of flirtationship More

Definition of flirtationship? More than a friendship, less than a relationship.

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Definition of I ll

Definition of I’ll think about it. = I’ll forget about it completely until you bring it up again.

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Definition of I ll

Definition of I’ll think about it. = I’ll forget about it completely until you bring it up again.

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Definition of there s

Definition of there’s no food in the house? = We’re out of food that I would actually eat.

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Definition of there s

Definition of there’s no food in the house? = We’re out of food that I would actually eat.

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Deja Vu is when

Deja Vu is when something so funny happens, that God has to rewind it and show his friends.

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Deja Vu is when

Deja Vu is when something so funny happens, that God has to rewind it and show his friends.

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Doctor A person who

Doctor – A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

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Dubstep A rap battle

Dubstep: A rap battle between the autobots and decepticons.

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Dubstep A rap battle

Dubstep: A rap battle between the autobots and decepticons.

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Economist A person who

Economist: A person who predicts tomorrow how the things he predicted yesterday did not happen today

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Etc A word used

Etc. A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

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Etc An abbreviation that

Etc. – An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.

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Exams are like Girlfriends

Exams are like Girlfriends: Too many Questions, Difficult to Understand, More Explanation needed, Result is NOT always Up to the MARK.

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Father The banker that

Father – The banker that nature provides.

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Fine is a tax

Fine is a tax for doing wrong things. . Whereas tax is a fine for doing right things. What a funny world..

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Hypochondriac a person who

Hypochondriac: a person who’s determined to get their money’s worth out of a health insurance policy.

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Lamest excuse against exercise

Lamest excuse against exercise – If God meant us to touch our toes; he would have put them further up our body!

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Lecture The art of

Lecture – The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the lecturees without passing through the minds of either.

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Office A place where

Office – A place where you can relax after a strenuous night at home.

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Pessimist A person who

Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY. – Anonymous

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Plagiarism getting into trouble

Plagiarism – getting into trouble for something you didn’t do.

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Pronouns Like normal nouns

Pronouns.
Like normal nouns, just highly trained.

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Rape Small Word but

Rape: Small Word, but Long Sentence.

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Rubbish The stuff you

Rubbish – The stuff you throw away. Stuff – The rubbish you keep.

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Schizophrenia together I can

Schizophrenia – together I can beat it

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Star Wars A very

Star Wars: A very long time ago but somehow still in the future

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Tears The means by

Tears – The means by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

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The iPad Because the

The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.

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The mop A useful

The mop:
A useful tool for spreading dirt from one place to the rest of the floor…

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The Theory of Relativity

The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.

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WOMAN The most efficient

WOMAN:The most efficient money reducing agent known to mankind!

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