Engineer Jokes SMS Crackpot

Who says Engineers don’t have a sense of humor? With these Engineer Jokes, be rest assured to get a total feel of fun and drama in an Engineers life. A collection of the most hilarious Engineer Jokes SMS is right here. Laughter guaranteed!

A girl asks her

A girl asks her boyfriend, an engineer, “Don’t you want to see where i was operated upon for appendicitis?”.The engineer replied “Oh, i hate to see a hospital”

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A scientist can discover

“A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. He would have to ask an engineer to do that.”
– Gordon L. Glegg, British Engineer, 1969.

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A Software Engineer was

A Software Engineer was smoking
Girl: Didn’t you see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors and not warnings.

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Engineer gets home from

Engineer gets home from work and sees a note on the fridge from his wife. “This isn’t working, I’m at my moms”. he opens the fridge and checks the light, then grabs a beer and feels it cold. The engineer thinks to himself. “The fridge works fine”

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Engineering Is like a

Engineering Is like a….
.
.
.
.
typical Indian public toilet
.
.
People outside are desperate to go in and
people inside are dying to finish and come out.

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Engineers do not believe

Engineers do not believe in luck nearly as much as they rely on it.

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I keep trying to

I keep trying to find a phone number in Atlanta, but all the websites keep returning “Not Found” errors. (Explanation: The area code for Atlanta is 404 as in HTTP 404, the error code for “File Not Found”)

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If money is lostnothing

If money is lost
nothing is lost

If health is lost
something is lost

But
if character is lost,
8 BITS are lost

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Knock knock Who s

Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting coefficient of friction. Interrupting coefficient of fri…. mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (?)

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Long Back A person

Long Back..
A person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
forgot laughter were called SAINTS
Now they are called….IT professionals

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Normal people believe that

Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

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Q How can you

Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

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Q How do you

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

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Q What do engineers

Q: What do engineers use for contraception?

A: Their personalities

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Q When does a

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to be an undertaker.

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Q Why did the

Q: Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk?
A: He wanted to work overtime.

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The 2 happiest days

The 2 happiest days in engineering life..

first day:
Thank god i got it..

And

last day:
Thank god i got out of it;)

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The graduate with a

The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

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To the optimist the

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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What is the definition

What is the definition of an engineer? Answer: Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand.

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What is the difference

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

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What s the difference

What’s the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist? Answer: about $50k a year

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When a programmer goes

When a programmer goes to bed he sets out 2 glasses on his bedside table:
One glass is full of water, in case he wants to get a drink
One glass is empty, in case he doesn’t

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Why did the engineer

Why did the engineer drive the backwards?
He had a loco motive.

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