Funny Cricket SMS Jokes

2 people were talking during the village match. ‘The batsman was late for the 1st delivery,’ observed one. ‘He always is,’ said the other. He’s our milkman.

A batsman heard a cry ‘Smith! Your house is on fire!’ He dropped his bat and ran off the field. Just then he realized! Why am I running, I am not Smith!

A batsman made two runs in an inning and was told by his captain: Wonderful shot! Batsman: Which one? Captain: The one where you hit the ball!

A batsman tells the wicket keeper, I am anxious to hit a real good shot. My mother in law is here. Wicketkeeper: You can’t hit her that far.

A cricket enthusiast had 3 trays installed in his office, In, Out and LBW. A visitor asked: I got In and Out, but what’s LBW? The reply: Let the Beasts Wait.

Agar dhoni and saniya mirza ki shaadi ho gayi hoti to unke bacche ka naam kya hota? Think so simple. Dhaniya mircha.

APPEAL: A 250-decibel scream made to overcome the obvious congenital deafness so common in the umpiring profession.

APPEAL – What is left in the fruit bowl after the lunch break.

AVAGOYAMUG- The mysterious chant by a cricket spectator. It can be repeated by one person 1200 times in an afternoon, especially when Englishmen are batting.

Bad Light: what games tend to finish in, when it’s probably twice as dark as it was when the batsman went off for bad light in middle of afternoon session.

BAIL – What a batsman does immediately after getting out cheaply.

Bail: What the batsman’s family has to apply for when he is convicted for match fixing.

Batsman: I cannot understand it. The ball hit my head and was caught, but I was given out. Friend: Sometimes they go by sound.

Bits and Pieces Player: cricketer who is only average at more things than the average player.

BLOCK HOLE – Cured with a good Sri Lankan curry.

Block Hole: the resque place where all the cricketers will run after a bad performance. No-one can see then hidden in the block hole.

BLOCK- Taking block, a slow painful ritual involving an incoming batsman, the umpire and a little pitch excavation.A means of postponing the fearful onslaught.

Bouncer: At pubs they throw you out. In cricket they give you a black-out!

Boundary: 1. what separates India from Pakistan, 2.Mythological name in Ramayana: Laxmanrekha (No they aren’t husband wife…it means boundry)

BOWL – Where APPEAL is kept.

Bowler: (Excitedly) HOWZAAAAAAAT????? Umpire: (Calmly) Not bad. Better luck next time.

Bowler’s Limitation: maximum number of overs a bowler is allowed to bowl, which they usually exceed by bowling no-balls.

Bowler Tossing The Ball Up: bowler celebrating a caught and bowled.

Bowling Attack: a series of bowlers who defend.

Building A Platform For The Innings: method by which batsmen bat very slowly leaving the tail to bat very quickly to ensure a decent total.

BYE- A way of scoring a run or more by cleverly missing the ball. The umpire raises one arm as if he wants to leave the room. The wicketkeeper wishes he could.

BYE – Kim Hughes` last words.

Bye: This is what the cricketers are finally going to say to the game when they enter into hardcore commercials.

Captain: I do not understand it. I bribed the umpire and still we lost. Bowler: Terrible! It is getting so you cannot trust anyone!

CAUGHT BEHIND- Trapped in the turnstiles.

CENTURY – Average length of a Boycott innings.

Century: the target set by indian cricketers to win the world cup. Atleast win it by the next century!

Champu: What do Indian batsmen and drug addicts have in common? Buntu: Both keep wondering where their next score will come from.

Champu: What do you call an Indian cricketer with 100 runs against his name? Buntu: A bowler.

Champu: Why are cricket stadiums always cool?Buntu: Because they’re full of fans.

Champu: Why are Indian batsmen looking forward to the new millennium? Buntu: So they can at least say they passed a century.

Child: Good bowling! Father: Be silent, Child: Good owling!

Coach: What were the statistical records of the team’s tour? Captain: As far as I can remember, about 387 gallons of beer and 47 pubs.

Coloured Clothing: what players wear in hope that spectators will wear it too. An easy way for crowd to tell the difference between batsmen and bowlers.

Commentary: He runs in to bowl over the stumps. He has a forward-short leg, backward short-leg, square-leg. Lady: The man must be a monster!

Commentary when Ganguly called Dravid for a run, midway sent him back and he was run out: Ganguly threw a drowning man both ends of the rope.

COMMENTATOR- He’s venerable. His eyesight is not as good as it was in 1938 but it’s remarkable how he can pick an inswinger or outswinger from 200 meters.

Crease: what you get when you don’t iron your shirt. / what comes on your ironed shirt when you step into the local train.

Cricket stadium mein ek ladki ne face par India ka flag banaaya hua tha. Ek sindhi paas aaya or kiss karke bola: I support India!

cricket the enemy calls you to the pavilion with this

Cricketer’s wife: All you ever think about is cricket! I would die if you came home before eight! Cricketer: Now dear, do not try to bribe me.

Day/Night Match: one-day game played under contemporary over- rates.

Death: part of the innings in which the participants are the most active.

DELIVER – Italian body organ

Deliver: What the Pizza boy does for the cricketers when they are enjoying their holidays in the name of playing matches!

Dhoni played very badly and the team lost. During next match. Dhoni: Notice any difference? Captain looks at him: Yes you had a haircut na!

Dismissal of Batsman: bowler’s attempt at a dot ball which didn’t go quite to plan.

Double century: A brodar target set by the Indian cricketers to win the world cup. Atleast win it in next two centuries!

DOUBLE CENTURY – Back to back Boycott innings.

Duck: A bird that goes “Quack Quack”

ESKY- A trade device used for carting refreshments. In moments of extreme emotion during Tests it is done to break up your esky and throw pieces at players.

Extra: In films they dance. .In cricket, they are an advance.

EXTRAS- Or in politer circles, sundries. Here we have the collection of no balls and byes. Sometimes he is so skillful he is the top scorer of the day.

Fielding Circle: lot of dots which, if joined up, would not make a circle.

Fielding Restrictions: way of making captains put fielders where they don’t want them.

Follow-on: In films the heroine calls you to a corner like this; in

Full toss: In Sholay it meant Khota Sikka, in cricket it means Maaro Chakka!

Full Toss: yorker which has got above itself.

Googly – sister of google.

GULLY – Adjective describing MCG outfield fauna.

Gully: Place where we find better cricketers than in the Indian cricket team.

He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.

Heigtht Of Expectation. Sending Indian Cricket Team An E-Mail Wishing Them To Win A Match.

How does a cricketer teach his daughter ABC? A for appeal, B for bowled and C for caught.

If a school exam is based on T20, the first 15 minutes will have no invigilator and Cheer girls will dance to every correct answer.

If Anil Kumble, Ajit Agarkar, Javagal Srinath and Venkatesh Prasad wrote a book, it will be called A Tail Of Two Runs.

If you are trying to beat India in their home, you are you trying to get milk out of an ox.

In a cricket ground.. Security : cricket match is over now why are you still sitting? Santa: oye yaar.. I am waiting for highlights.

India’s next three matches: May 2 – India vs St.Xaviers high School May 5 – India vs Utkarsha Vidyalaya May 3 – India vs Nirmala Ladies College Hoo haa Indiaaaaa!!!

Join the Indian team: Attractive packages, modelling assignments, age no bar, what you waiting for! Mail your resume to sharad.pawar@bcci.in