Clean Jokes SMS For Everyone

Clean SMS Jokes that will crack you up with laughter each time you read them. Clean humor is the best way to share joy and bring a smile on the face of your near and dear ones.

Bob Holy crap I

Bob: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.”
Jim: “Oh my God, are you okay?”
Bob: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”

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I used to think

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

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If the right side

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

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Instead of the John

Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

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Johnny why did you

“Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?” exclaimed the angry mother. “It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”

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Mam Kids what does

Mam:Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Boy:Meat!
Mam:Now what does the pig give you?
Boy:Bacon!
Mam:Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Boy:Homework!

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My friend thinks he

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

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Q Can a kangaroo

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

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Q Did your hear

Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don’t worry he’s “ALRIGHT” now!

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Q Have you heard

Q: Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
A: There’s no menu; you get what you deserve

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Q How do trees

Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.

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Q How do you

Q: How do you make the number seven even?
A: Drop the “s.”

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Q What did the

Q. What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.

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Q What did the

Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: “I’m not peeling well.”

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Q What did the

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.

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Q What do you

Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.

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Q Who earns a

Q: Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A: A taxi driver.

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Q Why are fish

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

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Q Why are ghosts

Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

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Q Why did King

Q: Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?
A: He couldn’t fit in the elevator

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Q Why is a

Q: Why is a river rich? A: Because it has two banks.

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Q Why was six

Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven “ate” nine.

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Teacher Use the word

Teacher: Use the word “beans” in a sentence. Boy 1: “My father grows beans, Girl 2: “My mother cooks beans,” Boy 3: “We are all human beans.”

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What happens to a

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

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