Funny Blonde SMS Jokes
Best SMS Blonde jokes. Share it with friends and make everyone laugh.
A beggar: I have not eaten anything for days, mam. A blonde looks at him and sighs: God, I wish I had your willpower.
A blonde and a brunette were walking when the brunette said: Oh look at a dead bird! Blonde looked skyward and said: Where where?
A blonde bought an A.M. radio? It took her two weeks to figure out that you could also play it at night.
A blonde goes to Professor’s cabin and says that I will do anything to pass in the exams and professor says now open your. . . . . . Books and study.
A blonde got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
A blonde got stabbed in a Shoot out.
A blonde, in pain presses her finger over her body, and yells: My entire body is paining. Doctor: Well, You got a broken finger
a blonde managed to trip over my cordless phone.
A blonde on one side of a lake yells to another: How do I get to other side?
Other blonde:You are already on the other side.
A blonde put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
A blonde’s idea to pass time in a mall: Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror to pick her nose
A blonde spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said – “concentrate”
A blonde took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept.
A blonde tried to drown a fish.
A blonde used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch.
A blonde: You know, I made my husband a millionaire! Bruntette: What was he earlier? Blonde: A billionaire!
A brunette always holds her blonde friend’s hand, who is a shopping addict. Once she was sick for a week and 3 stores suffered losses
A brunette will bargain and pay Re.1 for a Rs.2 item she needs. But a blonde will pay Rs.2 for Re.1 item she does not need.
A curious blonde wanted to know: If money does not grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
A form signed by a blonde was rejected because at the bottom of the application where it says: Sign here, she put Leo.
A smart blonde carried a measuring tape to bed since she wanted to see how long she slept.
Baker (to blonde): Mam, in how many pieces do you want me to cut the cake, 6 or 12? Cut it in 6, I will not be able to eat 12.
Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything. – Toby Harrah
Blonde: I rented a DVD, but it is blank. Storekeeper: Which title did you rent? Blonde: It is called Head Cleaner
Blonde: Mom, my friend broke my doll! Mom: Very bad dear. How did it happen? Blonde: I hit her over the head with it!
Boy: Are you sure you love me and no one else? A blonde: Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday!
Call Daddy – Dad and Mummy – Mom said the teacher. To this, a blonde said: Then can I call you Mad – Madam.
Catch her by her waist. Bring her home.. Keep your hand on her neck. Put your lips on her lips and have a . .nice drink of Pepsi…
Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Do you have any love cards? Shopowner: Buy this 1 – To the only man I ever loved. A blonde (excited): Great! I want 10 of them.
Food is like mating: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. – Beth McCollister
How do you confuse a blonde? No need. They are born that way.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle? Shine a torch into her ear
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Simple, tell her a joke on Wednesday!!!
How do you recognize a blonde in a classroom? She is the one who erases what is written in her book when teacher erases the board.
Husband: Would you have married me if my father had not left me a fortune? Blonde: I did not bother who left you the fortune.
I have found at my age going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
It is with tremendous sadness that we report the brain death of a blonde. Yes, her husband just died!
Jeweller: Shall I engrave his name on the locket? Blonde girl: Just engrave: My only love. I can use it forever and for everyone
Mating at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. – Camille Paglia
Mating between two people is a beautiful thing; between five It is fantastic. – Woody Allen
Most interesting line written on the T-shirt of a blonde. Excuse me. My face is above.
Mother: Why are you poor in history? Blonde: My teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born.
On the bottom of the job application where it said ‘Sign Here’ a blonde wrote ‘Aquarias’.
Pregnant blonde: Darling, I am expecting twins! I bought a 2-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests were positive.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the guy asked if he should cut it in 6 or 12 pieces. A: Oh, only 6 – I’d never manage to eat all 12 pieces.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car? A: She burnt her lips on the tailpipe.
Q: How can you tell a FAX had been sent by a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on top of her.
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say “Hello”
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you know a blonde has robbed your house? A: You notice the microwave is gone, but a note is there in it’s place saying: “Thanks for the TV”
Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day? A: Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat”.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?A: Run like hell….she’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year’s hide and seek champion.
Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? A: Double-dumb.
Q: What do you call a blonde on a University Campus?A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They are both empty from the neck up.
Q: What does a postcard from a blonde’s vacation say? A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?
Q: Why are blonde’s immune to Mad Cow Disease? A: It only affects the brain.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them.
Q. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side!
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office? A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Q. Why did the blond get so excited after finishing the jigsaw puzzle within 6 months? A: Because the box said: From 2-4 years.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: She didn’t want to waken the sleeping pills.
Suzy: Are you not wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Blonde: Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.
Teacher: All idiots stand up. A blonde stands up. Teacher: So, you are an idiot? Blonde: No, I didn’t like to see you standing alone