Army Jokes SMS

Army jokes SMS to crack you up with laughter beyond repair. War and violence can only be sorted out with a little bit of humor. Enjoy these Army Jokes and laugh your gut out.

A general calls a

A general calls a colonel:- Do you have a couple of smart majors?- Yes I do.- Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.

SMS WhatsApp

A recruit examines the

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room.- Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant.- Yes, you do. You may eat it or not.

SMS WhatsApp

A soldier keeps a

A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:- I cant drink from this mug. It has no opening.The sergeant examines the mug and says:- You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.

SMS WhatsApp

At the beginning of

At the beginning of the Army-Navy football game, the coin toss in made. The Navy captain shouts, HEADS followed by the Army captain shouting LATRINES.

SMS WhatsApp

Having passed the enlistment

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?””My father said itd be a good idea, sir.””Oh? And what does your father do? “Hes in the Army, sir.”

SMS WhatsApp

How can there be

How can there be such things as peace-keeping missiles?

SMS WhatsApp

How do you clear

How do you clear an Iraqi Bingo parlor?
Yell

SMS WhatsApp

Officer at the shooting

Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.
Soldier: Which one is Will?

SMS WhatsApp

Officer Do you have

Officer: Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure buddy.
Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Answer again. Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!

SMS WhatsApp

Q Did you hear

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.

SMS WhatsApp

Q How many U

Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

SMS WhatsApp

Sergeant to new recruit

Sergeant (to new recruit): What were you before you joined the army?
New Recruit: Happy, Sergeant.

SMS WhatsApp

Short sighted sarge Attention

Short-sighted sarge: “Attention! You also, you little one in the back row with the red cap!””But sarge, thats a hydrant!”Sarge:”Anyway, in this place academics have to obey as well.”

SMS WhatsApp

Soldier Ivanov was ordered

Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel of potatos.- In this day and age, the army should have a machine to peel potatos, complains Ivanov.- Absolutely, answered the sergeant. And you are its latest model.

SMS WhatsApp

The sergeant major growled

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier:

SMS WhatsApp

Who likes music asks

Who likes music? – asks a commander.- Two soldiers step forward.- All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor

SMS WhatsApp