The Best of SMS Jokes are here
A huge collection of funniest of SMS jokes to make you laugh everyday. Laughter is the best medicine after all!
1 aadmi ne apni moti biwi se poocha, sisak ke marna theek hai ya ekdum. BIWI: ekdum. Aadmi: toh apni dusri taang bhi mujh par rakh do.
1 couple ko movie tickets milte hai. Uspe likha hota hai Pehchan kaun. Movie dekh kar ghar aate hain toh sab samaan gayab. Bas 1 note milta hai, Sahi pehchana
1 ladka ek ladki ke saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki ke saath. 3rd day koi aur. Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badalteÃ‚
1 Santa Bathroom Mein Baitha Tha. Saamne Likha Tha Paani Ka Zyada Se Zyada Istemaal Karein. Wo Baithe Baithe 3 Lote Paani Pi Gaya.
1. Someone on his status “Sleeping” since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.
2. Someone is “Driving” since 5 days! I guess he reached Dubai!
3. Someone’s status is “Happy” since 1 Month. Living in Paradise?
4. Someone is always ‘Available’. How free Are you?
1000 Pages Ki Book Ko Kitne Din Mein Padha Jaa Sakta Hai? Writer:6 Months. Doctor:2 Months. Lawyer:1 Month. Professor: 1 Week. Student:Pehle Batao Exams Kab Hai
1995 chi mulgi: Agar tum mil jaao jamana chhod denge hum. 2010 chi mulgi: Agar tum mil jaao purana chhod denge hum.
1st biwi:Bartan dhone ke liye kya istemaal karti ho?2nd biwi:Bahut si cheezein istemaal kar chuki,lekin pati se accha koi nahi
1st businessman: How do you find business these days? 2nd businessman: Terrible. Even the people who don’t intend to pay have stopped ordering.
1ST LINE to BE WRITEEN IN EXAMS. All answers written below are imaginary and work of my mind. Any RESEMBLENCE to TEXT BOOK is UNINTENTIONAL & PURELY ACCIDENTAL!
1st maccher bola-main doctor banunga. 2nd bola – Main engineer banunga. Itne mein kisi ne Mortin jala diya. Macchar bole – Saali ne poora career kharab kar diya
1st Soldier: What made you join army? 2nd Soldier: I had no wife and I loved war. What about you? 1st Soldier: I had wife and loved peace.
1st thief: The police are here! Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief: Hurry! This is no time to be superstitious.
1st Vakeel: Tum bewakoof ho. 2nd Vakeel: Tum Mahabewakoof ho.Judge: Ab jab aap dono ka ek doosre se parichay ho gaya hai toh kya hum case shuru karen?
2 business partners decide to take a trip abroad. 1st: (in the airplane) My God! I left the safe open. 2nd: Don’t worry. Nothing will happen. We are both here
2 businessmen met. 1st: Can I borrow your book “Become a millionaire” 2nd: Sure. 1st: But half the pages are missing. 2nd: Isn’t half a million enough for you?
2 businessmen met. 1st: I spent 15,000 Rs on my daughter’s studies & she married a guy who makes 3000 a year. 2nd: You still get 20 percent on your money
2 dost ATM mein gaye. Pehla dost:Haha,maine tumhaara ATM pin dekhliya. 4 star hai. Doosra dost:Arre bewakoof.Mera ATM Pin 5210 hai
2 in 1 people are siamese.
2 Lovers plan suicide. Boy jumps, Girl closes her eyes and returns saying love is blind. Boy opens his parachute saying love never dies.
2 mitra eka car madhe bomb fix karat astat. Pahila:Zar bomb fix karyachya aadhi futala tar. Dusara:Majhya kade extra bomb aahe
2 people were talking during the village match. ‘The batsman was late for the 1st delivery,’ observed one. ‘He always is,’ said the other. He’s our milkman.
2 snakes in the jungle, female snake tried to kiss the male snake, suddenly male snake turned and started singing zehar hai ki pyar hai tera chumma?
2 zurala ICU madhe ekmekanchya shejari admit astat. Pahila Zural: Kaay BAYGON ki HIT. Dusra Zural: Nahi CHAPPAL
20 varshacha astana vate me jagala vachawu shakato. 30 cha zalyavar vatate pagaratun kahi vachavu shakalo tari mothi goshta aahe.
22 injured in Turkey explosion Damn, that must have been one cool dinner party.
3.5 out of 7 people overcomplicate things.
3 bayakanchya bhandanat ek bai tisrila: Thamb mi tula nantar baghte. Bai: Ghabarlis? Pahili: Nahi, aaj me chashma anla nahi
3 best comedy lines in student’s life 1. Please do not disturb I want to study 2. No class? then lets go to library and the best one 3. Sir, I have a question.
3 Fastest means of communication1 : Tele-Phone 2 : Tele-Vision 3 : Tell-a-women Need still faster? Tell her not 2 tell anyone.
3 Fastest Means Of Communication 1 : Tele-Phone 2 : Tele-Vision 3 : Tell-A-Women. Need Still Faster? Tell Her Not To Tell Anyone.
3 log bike pe ja rahe the,Police:Tumhe malum nahi 3 sawari chalana zurm hai.Aadmi:Malum hai isiliye 1 ko ghar chhodne ja rahe hain
3 log train ke peeche bhaag raha tha. Ek chadh gaya.Train mein logon ne kaha well done. Santa: kya well done? Jaana to unhen tha main to chorne aaya tha.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove, ‘I’m a zebra.’
33 marks ki kimat tum kya jaano lecturer babu. Board ka aashirwad hote hain 33 marks. Student ke sar ka taaj hote hain 33 marks. Failure ka khawab hote hai 33 marks.
35 Sal Ki Lady Balcony Se Neeche Kachre Ke Dibbe Mein Giri. Ya Dekh Ke Santa Ne Kaha Husband Zyada Hi Shaukeen Lagta Hai Warna Abhi 5-10 Saal Aur Chal Sakti Thi
3D home entertainment isn’t all its cracked up to be, Once you get it all set up, you realize that you forgot to rob the glasses
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5 Benefits of Kissing: 1. Changes Taste. 2. Lips Never Get Dry. 3. Burns Calories. 4. Makes Face Muscles Strong. 5. Relieves Stress. So Keep Kissing
50 Cent used to be called ‘The Million Dollar Man’ before he met Chuck Norris.
50 Meel Dur Jab Koi Bachha Oon-Oon Karke Rota Hai Toh Ma Kehti He Ki Beta Aise Mat Ro Varna Bada Hokar Tu Himesh Reshamiya Ban Jayega
50% of married men cheat on their wives in India…..the rest go to Thailand!
6 birds were sitting on a tree. A hunter shoots over them. 5 birds flew away but one female bird kept sitting. Why? Girls And Their Attitude Man!
60 saal ke aadmi ne paper mein rishtey ka add diya. Ek mahine baad ek khat aaya: Sir,iss umar mein rishtey nahi farishtey aate hain
7 Things Students Do During Exams Preparations:Sleeping, Eating, Texting, Watch Movies, Chat Wid Friends, Dream Of Books, Ask Others hows your preparation?
911:What’s your emergency? I said, Two girls are fighting over me. OK, she paused. Well what’s the problem? The fat one’s winning.
A 22 wheeler Tata truck once crashed into Rajnikanth. Now, its called Tata Nano.
A baby is an angel whose wings increase as his legs decrease.
A baby monkey asked his mother, why are we so ugly? Mother said: Thank God we look like this you should see the person reading this SMS!
A baby monkey asked his mother, Why are we so ugly? Mother said: Do not complain son, We look far better than the one reading this SMS!
A baby mosquito came back from his first flying.
His dad asked, “How do you feel?”
He replied, “It was great. Everybody was clapping for me!”
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A basket ball player spun a basketball on his finger and asked Rajnikant can you do it? Rajni-how do you think the earth spins?
A batsman heard a cry ‘Smith! Your house is on fire!’ He dropped his bat and ran off the field. Just then he realized! Why am I running, I am not Smith!
A batsman made two runs in an inning and was told by his captain: Wonderful shot! Batsman: Which one? Captain: The one where you hit the ball!
A batsman tells the wicket keeper, I am anxious to hit a real good shot. My mother in law is here. Wicketkeeper: You can’t hit her that far.
A Beautiful Girl Puts Her Finger On The Hotel Managers Lips. Manager Kisses Each Finger. Girl: Now Tell Your Boss There Is No Tissue Paper In The Toilet.
A beggar: I have not eaten anything for days, mam. A blonde looks at him and sighs: God, I wish I had your willpower.
A beggar to a fat woman: I have not eaten anything in four days. Woman: God, I wish I had your willpower.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
A blank, helpless sort of face, rather like a rose just before youdrench it with DDT. John Carey
A blonde and a brunette were walking when the brunette said: Oh look at a dead bird! Blonde looked skyward and said: Where where?
A blonde bought an A.M. radio? It took her two weeks to figure out that you could also play it at night.
A blonde goes to Professor’s cabin and says that I will do anything to pass in the exams and professor says now open your. . . . . . Books and study.
A blonde got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
A blonde got stabbed in a Shoot out.
A blonde, in pain presses her finger over her body, and yells: My entire body is paining. Doctor: Well, You got a broken finger
a blonde managed to trip over my cordless phone.
A blonde on one side of a lake yells to another: How do I get to other side?
Other blonde:You are already on the other side.
A blonde put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
A blonde’s idea to pass time in a mall: Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror to pick her nose
A blonde spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said – “concentrate”
A blonde took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept.
A blonde tried to drown a fish.
A blonde used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch.