Away Messages You Will Love

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ
If your wondering where the P is… its about to run down my leg in a second.

Ashes to Ashes
Dust to dust
Life is short
So party we must!

Did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow…
And 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?

Hello! This is Goldilocks. I’m busy right now eating porridge with the three bears, be back as soon as we settle which bowl of porridge is juuussst right!

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for YOUR SCREEN NAME , your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

Hey I am relieving myself, I’ll be back when its all over.

Hey, I’m here but I’m not here so when I get here you will know I am here because I will be here.

How can you miss me if I don’t go away?

I am not away. I am a liar.

I am not here so stop writing to me, or else you will find yourself with a screen full of your own messages.

I’ll be back soon. I’m out in the backyard goat farming. Crazy goats.

I’m getting my tummy refill right now, I will be back when it is full.

I’m not talented enough to type and pick my nose at the same time.

I’m taking advantage of indoor pluming! I’ll be right back!

If an away message is posted, but no one ever reads it, did that person really go away?

If you can read this message without any trouble, you obviously have a lack of alcohol.

If you want to know where I am call a psychic! If you’re too lazy to do that just leave me a message!

Nature is calling and I’m answering.

Now I lay down in my bed,
I pray the Lord protect my head.
For if out of my bed I fell,
My head would hurt and start to swell

Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

There is a sick child who needs your help. He/She is dying of a disease called boredom. If you want to make a contribution to help save their life, please leave a message with the amount you are willing to contribute.

You must be bored to if you are reading people’s away messages. I must be bored if I am telling you how bored you are.

(YOUR NAME)’s computer is broken right now. This is her fridge. Now, you can leave a message, but say it slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.