I wish I was
I wish I was you so I could hang around with me.
I hate when I’m listening to music really loud and I have to keep pausing it because I constantly think I’m hearing my name being called.
HOS is Vini, Vedi, Velcro… I came I saw I stuck around!
The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong.
Those little things they do that make you love them even more.
Laugh often… Dream always… Forgive yourself… Believe in miracles… Give hug… Love one another.
My parents said I should watch less movies and read more. So I turned on the subtitles.
How to Save the World: 1) Make a document titled “The World”. 2) Save it.
I am spending some quality time with my pillow
Did you know that iPads and iPhones float in water? Go on try it, I promise it’s true!
HOS believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
It must be awkward for gay people when their Sat-Nav tells them to go straight..
If showing your body makes you modern, then, animals are more modern than humans!
Trying to find a song you heard on the radio by Googling a phrase from it.
Dude, she just called you lazy … “Oh hell no! Go tell her i`m not”
Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
“You look tired” is just a polite way for someone to tell you that you look like shit.
Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry so shut up, please!
Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing!
Being funny is like being a reality TV star; it’s just being stupid on command.
Maybe you should go eat some makeup… so you can be “pretty” on the inside too?
Don’t you hate it when you’re NOT in a good mood… and you really don’t know why?
sometimes, not remembering may be the better way God has chosen for us.
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
I would rather have someone tellin me I have beautiful eyes, than someone tellin my I have a beautiful eye make-up.
Everytime I lose my phone… it’s always on either silent or vibrate. How convenient…
Women and shoes are like hermit crabs and the shells they inhabit…except the hermit crabs are schizophrenic.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
What are you smiling at? Nothing, i just love you.
I’d love to help the homeless people…. I just don’t know where they live.
I still let my phone ring a few times before answering, when a person I am interested in calls, so I seem busy.
Ever had a nightmare so bad that when you wake up you feel like throwing a party to celebrate that it was only a dream.
Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
Why is Facebook going public? They couldn’t figure out the privacy settings either.
The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it.
I am tired of money playing hard to get.
You lied to me to protect yourself, not to protect me.
*Washing Car* Friend: Sup dude, you washing your car? Me: No… I am watering it to see if it grows into a bus!
Dear YouTube I will always “Skip this ad.”
I am surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I’ve dropped and shattered my phone.
My neighbors loved the music so much when I turned it up, that they invited the police to listen.
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not freakin blue.
Checking the fridge every 10 minutes to see if any food magically appeared!
I am more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.
HOS is inspired by true events.
If I’ve ever said anything to insult you please let me know, I might want to say it again.
I once bought shoes in China that said “made around the corner”
Oh, you deleted me off Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What’s next you throw a fruit loop at the back of my head & expect it to hurt?
Are you free tomorrow? No, I am freaking expensive.
I seriously hate it when my parents start the – when i was your age lecture…
says What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Teenage: have time & energy but no money Working age: have money & energy but no time Old age: have time & money but no energy!
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
HOS is gonna get rich, or die trying
Teacher: You should know this! You learnt this 2 years ago! Me: Dude, I don’t even remember what I ate last week!
When i was young i used to listen to the radio all day long just to record my FAVORITE song of ALL time.
HOS is Growing old but never up
Don’t mix between my personality and my attitude because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
That awesome moment when you and a stranger become friends when you both silently recognize the stupidity of another person.
Sometimes when I am listening to you I get the sudden urge to shout “SHUT THE HELL UP”!
A closed mouth is an open ear, the less you talk the more you hear.
Google is developing glasses that’ll let you access the Internet through a lens… just in case normal glasses aren’t nerdy enough for you.
“I live with no regrets.” “No, you live with your parents…”
My resume is basically a list of things i hate to do.
I’ve learned that there are people that truly love you, but they just don’t know how to show it.
It’s funny how fast you can wake up when you realize you’ve overslept.
You hate it when you get a doughnut and all the sprinkles are ONLY on the edge of it.
I swear my brain is 70% song lyrics.
says if she was a boy then he would be gay
HOS is throwing away happy tissues
GIRL: How much do you love me? GUY: Well, look at the stars & count them. That’s how much I love you. GIRL: But, its morning. GUY: Exactly.
It is a universal truth that everything you do is at least 100 times louder when you’re trying not to wake anyone up.
Beware of websites and women that ask you to continue unprotected.
The only people who truly know your story, are the ones that helped you write it.
It doesnt matter whether I go to bed at 9:00 pm or 2:00 am. When I wake up for school early tomorrow morning I’ll be tired either way.