If a woman tells
If a woman tells you she’s 20 and looks 16, she’s 12. If she tells you she’s 26 and looks 26, she’s damn near 40.
Woman gives birth. Woman: I think I`ll name her Sara. Doctor: I`m sorry, but that name`s already taken.. May I suggest Sara89 or Sara_13?
History always tells a story. Which is why you must clear it before the wife uses the internet.
Any time someone tells you they’re “about 20 minutes away” they’re lying. They haven’t left yet.
If a guy tells you he is different, he is just like all the others. If he really is different, he’ll show you, not tell you.
“God tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he’s pretty sure you’re jacked.” -Braveheart (1995)
Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.
A man never tells you anything until you contradict him. George Bernard Shaw
My mom still tells me not to talk to strangers. I am 22 mom, I don’t talk to strangers, I date them.
M: “My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.” F: “That’s just something ugly people say.” -Liar Liar (1997)