Any time someone tells
Any time someone tells you they’re “about 20 minutes away” they’re lying. They haven’t left yet.
History always tells a story. Which is why you must clear it before the wife uses the internet.
If a guy tells you he is different, he is just like all the others. If he really is different, he’ll show you, not tell you.
“God tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he’s pretty sure you’re jacked.” -Braveheart (1995)
Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.
A man never tells you anything until you contradict him. George Bernard Shaw
My mom still tells me not to talk to strangers. I am 22 mom, I don’t talk to strangers, I date them.
M: “My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.” F: “That’s just something ugly people say.” -Liar Liar (1997)
Santa tells his fiance: Come to my home tonight, no one will be there. She reached that night and found that really nobody was home.
Man Outside Phone Booth: Excuse Me, You Are On Phone Since 20 Minutes and I Havent Seen You Speaking A Word Till Now. Man Inside: I Am Talking to My Wife.