Don t have kids
Don’t have kids until you’re so tired, you’re ready to have all your fun by proxy.
Fat kids are harder to kidnap
Keep it down kids… Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet!
Kids these days sure do love taking pictures of mirrors.
Why do my kids think me answering an important phone call is code for “start screaming”?
Kids complaining they didn’t get an iPhone for Christmas or got one in the wrong color is exactly why other countries hate us.
I like Kids. But I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
with the way kids are so HYPER these days, I probably wouldn’t have enough patience to be a Kindergarten Teacher. we’d have to play games like DUCT, DUCT, TAPE!
“Kids don’t like it when their parents get divorced!” -Rushmore (1998)
Hey kids, why don’t you try a new social networking tool?
It’s called, outside .