When people see me
When people see me at the supermarket & they are like: “Hey what are you doing here?”..I`m like, “Oh you know, hunting elephants.”
It’s easy to spot people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
If big elephants have big trunks, do small elephants have suitcases?
When people say you’re hot, its your body, when people say you’re pretty, its your face, when people say you’re beautiful, its the inside
The only honest people in this world are small children and drunk people
You know those people that totally screw up their lives when they win the lottery? I would like to be one of those people.
Stupid people have it made.. Nobody expects anything from them and when they do something right people act like they cured cancer.
when I’m at the supermarket I like to look at my cashier straight in the eyes and tell her “I see you checking me out girl!!!!”
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.