Distance doesn’t ruin a relationship. The lack of communication does.
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Be a Stalker today: Go to someone’s Facebook profile, scroll down 6 months, and “LIKE” something.
Dear Girls, Bruno Mars may take 1 grenade for you but we take hundreds. Sincerely, the army.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
Facebook is one of the most searched term on Google. If you need Google to find Facebook, you shouldn’t be using the internet.
There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
Two girls wear the same shirt: “She copied my style!” Two guys wear the same shirt: “BRO!”
Looking at old pictures & noticing how lame you were when you were younger.
Sometimes I wish animals could talk..then I remember all the things my cats have seen me do when I am alone and I am very grateful they can’t.
Wear jeans every day and nobody cares. Wear a shirt twice in a row and you’re suddenly homeless in the eyes of everyone.
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is: ‘What is never the answer?
You sent friend request , I accepted , We talked , We liked , We dated , We got commited , I loved , You cheated , I deleted :P
wishes diet burgers, diet pizzas and diet fries existed!! The world would be a whole lot better
“Hey babe, you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking”
If your baby is beautiful & perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule & burps on demand, an angel all the time, you’re the grandma.
My therapist keeps recommending other therapists.
“My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”
Girls cheat if there’s something wrong with the relationship; guys cheat if there’s an opportunity.
How I Met Your Mother! 7 Series. 152 episodes. Yet we STILL don’t know how the hell he met their mother.
I liked you until you farted and turned the MUSIC up like it was gonna cover the smell.
fake laughs, fake smiles, fake promises, fake love.
sounds like everything is ‘Made In China’!
Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
You might want to come inside… Plastic melts in the sun.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they’d still be alive.
“Omgz hav!n such a gewd tiem wif mai bestiez, lolzzz!” Seriously? Take your keyboard, and bash your head into it.
Hey, there’s this girl. She’s beautiful, sweet, funny, amazing, unique, and she’s reading this right now.
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
“H3y wht r u dooin?”… About to throw a dictionary at your face!
I am not fat! I’m just so hot it’s overflowing
My math teacher acused me of cheating, I cant help that the english teacher is more hot.
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome!